The Innovation Of Silence

The Eternal

2008-08-04T18:11:00.000-07:00

Well, today I bring eventful news... the end of The Innovation Of Silence.

I don't think I'm done blogging, because it's a fun hobby and I enjoy it rather thoroughly.

There's just a lot of memories on this blog that I don't want to remember... but I don't have the heart to delete.

Until we meet again...

"May The Giant Be With You"

- Josh.

Group Of 12 Yr. Old Girls vs. Me

2008-08-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

Good (early) afternoon everyone,

Yesterday there was an altercation, an altercation in which I ended up screaming at a group of 12 yr. old girls.

I was at the skatepark with Fro, Charlie, Lil Man, Matt, A-Tone, and a few others... when this group of six or seven girls walks through the gate. I didn't really care, I was watching the skating happen, and trading bullshit with Charlie.

Well, I noticed that these girls kept getting in EVERYONE'S way... so I yelled out "HEY YOU!" and one or two looked- and I motioned for them to move so people could skate... and they gave me the most ignorant, blank stare I've ever seen in my entire life... like, unless it pertains to Laguna Beach, Texting, or The Hills... then it doesn't really matter.

I shook it off and said whatever, and went back to what I was doing.

A few minutes later, they were in the way again. This time, they were standing in front of the 6 foot ramp on the street course; and some biker politely asked them to move and they said "Yeah, we could!"... but they didn't move; so it became my goal to get them out.

Having enough of their bullshit, I yell "Hey! If you're 12 years old, and not skating or biking then lets move out of the way!", and one in green yells back "Shut up, you're ugly!", so now seeing that I have a fight with an ignorant, selfish little twat- I go abrasive and yell "I don't care if I'm ugly, I'd rather rape my grandmother than touch YOUR vagina!", which resulted in all of them shutting the fuck up.

As I was walking away from the argument, I saw EVERYONE was laughing but those girls, they looked fucking raged. Someone asked who I was saying that to- and Lil Man yelled out "HE WAS SAYING IT TO THAT BITCH IN GREEN!", which this girl countered by yelling "Shut up! You're 12!" to Lil Man, and even Charlie was getting in on the stuff today, because he yelled back "Shut the fuck up, you're 12 too!".

It was GRAND.

I don't mind little kids in the skatepark... but realize that people are trying to skate and bike... they want very little to do with you.

- Josh.

One Night of Perversion, Mindless Entertainment, and Social Awkwardness.

2008-07-27T09:18:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to go see The X-Files 2: I Want To Believe with Sam, Fro, and Charlie Nemes. We had left quite early, we planned on hitting the 9:15 showing, so when it was only 7:00, we decided to just crash around the mall for a bit.

We spend the time in there making Fro act like a crackhead (making him scratch his neck, and snort inhalingly as people walk by as he stares at the ground with wild eyes), we rode the Tellatubbies ride, hung out in the childrens play area (creepily), looked at an art gallery, and went to the aquarium where Charlie made Steve Irwin jokes about a sting-ray.

After we'd had our fill there, we decided to go to the theater. After getting our tickets and waiting for the movie to let out, we got in. While we were the first group there, we spent it yelling at each other, making fun of Fro's "Child Drive" (it's a harddrive in his car that we always tell people that is full of child porn), and then I did my normal; messing with people. While we were just hanging out, I just yell out "I LOVE MY DICK", and I hear the door open, and then without thinking I say "I LIKE MY FORESKIN", as a couple walks directly around the corner near us. Well laughed hysterically, and Fro even cried.

At the end of movie... there were ten people in the theater with us, most of whom looked confused. While I LOVE The X-Files with an amazing passion, I'm hard pressed to call it a flop... sorry Mulder.

When we'd dropped Sam off at 12:15, we basically just drove around town for hours... looking for something to do. We basically just made fun of each other, and had a small bit of fun. I called up a friend (Mikey) and asked him what was happening, and he told us to come to this party. After finding it and seeing that it was a REAL party we pull up, and Mikey was out in the driveway waiting for us, so I go "So is it cool that we're showing up?", he went "Dudeeeeeeeee, I don't even know.", and then he disappeared. As we sat there, we all decided at once... that we weren't gonna go there, and Fro turned around.

For the remaining of the night, we brought up the weird contents of the "Child Drive", Charlie being ditched by a girl for church "Hence; Charlie was Church'd", and how we're three generations of social awkwardness in the vehicle.

It was a fun night to me, because I kinda felt like I wasn't with people who just like to party, I was just with more people who feel just as awkward as me sometimes.

- Josh

Ravenna Skatepark, and Townies.

2008-07-25T19:42:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone.
Right now, it's 10:07 AM- and I'm listening to some Defiance, Ohio.

Yesterday turned out to be interesting.

I was sitting at the park with Fro, and Anthony- and we were just talking about skateparks, when I brought up the new Ravenna skatepark- and then Fro gestured towards his car, like "dude, let's fucking go"... so after Anthony got permission- and I got some bum directions from George we were off.

The directions George gave us told us to drive straight through downtown until we see a boarded up building and then turn left... something for us three that became WAY harder than it should've.

Well, we stop at a local Hallmark after driving around for a bit; when we get in there, it's a nice Asian lady working the counter, and when she walks away to ask the manager Anthony says to me "Fucking Chinks", and I say "Dude- shut the fuck up! She's not even five feet away.", after getting misleading directions from the Hallmark lady; we were off again.

We took their directions that took us out past township, into the countryside of Ravenna. After spending a nice 15 mintes driving into the country, we turned around. We went straight through the light we were told to turn left at- and went this way.

After pulling up to someone and asking them, Fro went "fucking people" and we found a nice older lady who finally pointed us in the right direction.

When we get there and start to walk in... we instantly feel the cold shoulder, because we're not townie fucks. They stare at us as we walk in, and while the others skate I ignore the odd, fucked up glances they keep throwing.

After about an hour or so- we bail.
We hit Taco Bell on the way back, and after Fro walks a dog we sit around the park for a bit.

Not a bad day, I say.

- Josh

PS: Check out my friend Brittany's blog, it's under "Friends". :)

When the last green leaf turns orange.

2008-07-25T10:34:00.000-07:00

So, today is the first time in a week or so I really had a full night of sleep. 11 full hours! woo! Instead of the three I've been running on all week.

Today is also the day that my friend from NY (Amber) left to go back to her home. It was hard saying goodbye to her yesterday... but I guess it was time.

We had a fun, cool summer- and I'll miss her until I see her again.

I'm actually kinda depressed in a way- because I hung with her EVERY day of the summer, to the point where it became a sure thing to see her... and now... she's gone, so now I feel kinda directionless for some odd reason.

I've actually even been considering if I even want to continue writing on here... and I've concluded that I will. It's given me an outlet to let people know that I'm more than just some jerk (given, I am), but- I think it may have also changed a few person's opinions of me... though I could be wrong.

So, I'll continue to write on here... as long as I have something to write about. I'll write about a watermelon that looked blue, a hula hoop that was misshaped, and how I think the moon landing was a hoax.

Have a good days guys.

- Josh.

Frankie's Jam

2008-07-20T08:22:00.000-07:00

So yesterday, I ended up over at my friend Frankie's for most of the day.

It was his little sister's pool party for her friends and stuff... but by the end of the night, it turned into Frankie's party.

After Cameron and I showed up around 4, we all hung out by Frankie's new mini-ramp he'd just finished building with his grandparents. While everyone (Matt, Adam, Bo, Cameron, Amber, Frankie, and I) hung around, a few more of Frankie's friends showed up (Little Man, and Vito); and then there were officially more of Frankie's friends than his sisters'.

When we were all sitting around having fun, I decided it'd be cool to invite George up, who did come- but left after 20 minutes or so.

Shortly after that, we decided to go swimming in Frankie's pool- and making more fun of the situation; I threw Amber in. She got pissed as her makeup ran, and a fight in the water ensued.

As the swimming quit, the night began to fall, and everyone started to unwind. Frankie had brought out the guitar and amp- which I stole from him, and messed with effects to make a very post-rock sound and made fucked up noises before giving it to Matt who played a nice medley of tunes.

Before we all left, we played a few songs downstairs on Rock Band... then a few more... then Frankie left his own party and Amber, Cam, and I played some more.

Eventually Cameron and I left. Along the way back, we saw Frankie and the others; and stopped and hung for a bit.

Cameron and I (bored, of course), went to the park- and Cheney and Bethany came up to us... mind you this is like at 11:30 at night. Cheney needed a ride home because his ride stranded him, which his house was on the road where we saw Bear Man one night.

Feeling polite- Cameron gave him a ride home. On the way back, he and I ripped down a sign that said "Road Weight Max: 12 Tons" and it was like a 3 foot high sign.

When we got back into town, Cam and I walked around a bit- then I retired to my home, where I would enjoy sleep.

Pretty good day, methinks.

- Josh

Angry Black Ladies vs. Me

2008-07-18T06:51:00.000-07:00

If there's one thing in this world that pisses me of- it's people who oppose obscenity, to an extent.

Saying things like Damn, and Hell in front of children WILL NOT ruin their lives- so yesterday, when angry black lady yelled at me for cursing- bitch pissed me off.

We were sitting next to the swingset at the park. It was A-Tone, Little Man, Petitbon, Amber, and Myself- while another friend (Tyler) was sitting on the swings; ignoring us the whole time.

We were just hanging out making silly remarks on the day- when I look at Vito, and behind him I see an angry bubble-butt bitch staring at us, while leaning on some random playground material. I say into Little Man's ear "She's fucking staring at us", and everyone kinda agrees, and looks on their own.

A while passes, while we just sit around still talking; ignoring the black lady who looks like she could kick all of our asses.

Eventually, she joins the swingset with a little blonde girl who came with her. We still keep talking, then she gets off the swing... and Little Man stares directly at her when she looks over to us, and then she decided to speak up...

This is the conversation that happened between me and LaQueefa.

LaQueefa: I'm just making sure there ain't no one using goddamn foul language around my kids.
Me: Okay? Well, you kinda just said goddamn.
LaQueefa: Well I'm a grown woman, I'm almost thirty.
Me: Yeah, and I'm almost 18- so what?
LaQueefa: Listen, I have FOUR kids to take care of-
Me: That's not my problem.
LaQueefa: I'm just asking you nicely.
Me: You're not asking us nicely- you're bitching at us!
LaQueefa: No I'm not!
Me: Yes you are- you came over here and you're like "Goddamn foul language".

She stares at us a bit, and then walks away.

Goddamn I don't even know if LaQueefa is her name, but I wanted to get up and start screaming racial slurs at her.

- Josh

This is how it goes, I guess.

2008-07-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

Well, my plans for August 1st (RANCID concert), are officially fucked.

Because;

1.) I have no job, and the grandparents aren't really letting me do as much as I would with a job, understandably.

2.) I'm now broke as fuck.

Number 2 needs to be explained.

In short:

Someone hacked my PayPal account and started buying shit with my account, putting it into overdraft of about 200 dollars... WELL, because I stopped using my PayPal- I had no clue of this until today.

I got a letter in the mail, addressed to my grandfather- from my bank (we use different banks), that was dated and sent on July 15th. It essentially said that my bank account was in overdraft of almost 200 dollars, and that they'd be taxing me 10 percent interest for five days- then after those five days; they would press charges.

So I've been saving up my money for the concert... and guess what! I had to pay ALL of it to my bank, plus borrowing a bit of money from the grandparents.

So now I'm broke, and now I can't see my favorite fucking band.

It's not ALL that bad... because for some reason... I just don't really care that much.
I mean, I'm pretty pissed that I can't go see RANCID, but I mean- it's kind of over my head now.

I guess it just means that I need to look for a job.

- Josh.

... Karma works in a weird way. - Earl J. Hickey

Gossip Queens

2008-07-16T10:19:00.000-07:00

Earlier today I got my haircut (I like it) at The Shop, it's a local place in our town located near our schools (all of our schools are all in the same vicinity after years of moving shit around), and I've got my hair cut there a few times and the lady who usually does my hair is a very nice lady named Tanya.

Well, as I was waiting for her to finish with another person, I started (accidentally) overhearing a conversation that some older-guy was having with the lady who was cutting his hair.

It was something that obviously wasn't interesting to her- but she was just humoring him and laughing at his shitty jokes to get a nice tip. He'd go on about some stupid shit and she'd be like "AHAHAHA really?!" and I was just thinking about how that guy is getting played so bad.

After Tanya started on my hair, I overheard a conversation that some lady was having with the hair cutter of that same fellow- doing the SAME shit to her. This fucking old woman was talking about how her brother Bryce has Alzheimer's, and I giggled outloud and Tanya shushed me while she laughed, because the old lady was talking about how her brother shits himself on a rather consistent basis, as her brother also talks about how when they get out of Vietnam he's gonna bang his wife as hard as he can... It was interesting, but those conversations I've overheard made me a bit dumber on the inside.

Let's not fuck ourselves now, we all say meaningless shit (some on a more casual basis, like me), and hope someone is amused by it- a habit to which we should all break.

"I hear all of these people talking, but no one is saying anything" - Henry Rollins

Later. - Josh

PS: I think I'm back.

three 500 MG Hydrocodones.

2008-07-15T18:23:00.000-07:00

There are some people who don't know me, who read my blog- this is widely understood; so before I explain a story, I must give details.

I used to have a bit of a pill problem. 5 - 10 various pills a day for about 3-6 months straight, though I kept it slightly secret.

So- knowing that, I can explain the following.

My friend (for the sake of this dramatization let's name her Amber) Amber smokes. She claims to only have done it 5 times (though the bullshit factor in her voice is above the stars), and her and I came to a recent promise; I wouldn't touch pills if she stopped smoking.

Fair agreement, I'd say.

WELL.

Today, I kind of overheard her in the midst of the attempted purchase of cigarettes from a friend who knew someone 18, and- I became INSTANTLY fucking pissed.

She broke a motherfucking promise... something I frown profoundly on.

So I stopped talking to her after that... but as I was sitting at the park... I was stricken with an idea.

She was sitting at the swings with some other mutual friends when I decided to do something.

After borrowing a bike, I rode home quickly- grabbed a bottle of water, and 3 Tylenol headache pills, and put them in a little baggy.

After I took the bike back to the friend I borrowed it from, I walked over to the swings; after everyone stole my water, and left me with only enough to swig from... I pulled the baggy out in front of Amber and some other friends. When I took out the pills and showed them to everyone I heard one person go "Oh fuck", and another "HOLY SHIT"- and then I took the three pills.

Amber was instantly struck with a look that went like "oh.... fuck.", or so it seemed to me.

One friend asked what they were, and I replied back "three 500 MG Hydrocodones" and someone I know named Marc was like "Holy fuck man, you're gonna be fucked up", to which I giggled a bit.

After 30 minutes of Amber (occasionally) giving me an angry stare, I got up- walked up to her at the swings and went "Those were three 250 MG Tylenol headache pills, don't fuck with me again". As I said this the only remaining friend over there (nicknamed Vito, sitting next to Amber on the swings) went "OH MY FUCKING GOD" and then we spoke of how I fucking got them.

Seriously- I don't care how fucking "stressed" you are.
Don't ever break a fucking promise to someone.

I told her that, and I also told her if she ever broke another promise like that again that next time they won't be headache pills...

Wanna know the best part of this? The person that they wanted to buy the cigarettes stiffed them, and didn't even get them.

The moral is... Grow up, leave your lungs alone- they're not there to hurt you, don't hurt them.

- Josh

One less soul on the block.

2008-07-14T11:55:00.000-07:00

Soulless faces in the least quiet places
Take the stones and call it their own
Define their generation under an angry nation
corruption, greed, molestation, and the people are like leeches who feed
The truth you spark won't even make a mark
Their names are shrouded in the dusk, their operations are a must.
To deceive us, to deny, to stare at us and lie
They call those who oppose the ones who refused to rose
The job is clear, the future is near
we'll make a stand against "the man" and draw a line in the sand
When one falls, another will rise- he'll come from nowhere like a lamb in disguise.
He'll say the same things promise peace will be what he brings
They'll follow likes sheep into the burning fires for their simple man-made desires
Aspiring from the truth is someone who has a stolen youth
Born from a mother and father, making the statistics lie without a bother.
He'll stand up for what's right and preach the gospel of life through the night
When they say he's done, he'll be shot down by the gun
the hands he fought against will overthrow him and raise the fence

It's easier

2008-07-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

Right now It's 1:33 AM.
I'm listening to some Explosions in the Sky, while thinking.
I had a good idea that I passed onto Fred the other night, he actually like(s/d) it.

Today I was kinda all over the place.
It's actually blurry to me.
I mean- I know what I did, and I can recall it all- but... I don't know how I did it.
I don't recall going home, watching George Carlin on HBO, grabbing a book and heading back to the park, but I did.

I feel better today though.
I actually know what's happening.
Yesterday I was out there.
Not sure if Fred noticed it when we hung... but I'm surprised I even made sentences.

Then again, I'm surprised most people can even make sentences.

I read this on someones profile earlier today:

NOT a prep, jock, goth, emo, punk, scene, slut.shes CHEYENNE... get over it.lov life. she flirt alot, but that dont mn she like you.not your typical "oh, im so ugly and fat, my life sucks!!"chik. gorgeous nd nice body. forget what u hrd.

Never in my entire life have I wanted to strangle another human being for so much improper grammar. Of course it's EVERYWHERE on this blog... but Jesus fucking Christ- it's not even like the words she's attempting are difficult!

Too much unnatural anger for one person to behold.

Who knows.

- Josh.

Angry for the sake of being angry.

2008-07-12T21:48:00.000-07:00

It's 1:06 AM.
I'm listening to Godspeed You! Black Emperor.
And I couldn't feel worse.
I fucking hate this shit.

I'm not angry at anyone, I'm done with that.
I'm just... angry for the sake of being angry.

It's not really even anger anymore, it's depression and sadness that has turned into anger.
I really hope it hits soon.

When it does- I'll feel better.
I know I will.
What's gonna break it though?
You?

I doubt it.

You could, but you won't.

You don't even know what I'm talking about.

It's better.
You're better.

Don't do what I'm doing with my life.
Not a smart idea.
Who knows.

I hope it's soon.

I only know of one person who knows whats happening to me right now, and they're asleep (or so I would guess).

Soon.

I'll explain myself.

2008-07-12T13:11:00.000-07:00

Right now, it's 4:11 on a Saturday- and where do I sit? my room of course.

The sun started to shine out of nowhere, where from until an hour or so ago- it was rather cloudy and rainlike, and I'm quite sure I also heard thunder... but it's all cleared up now.

For some reason... I want to explain myself.
I've pissed A LOT of people off lately, because... admittedly, I have changed.

I think I have at least.
Right now, I find it impossible to tell, but I know that whatever type of existential crisis I'm encountering (with myself), I shouldn't be taking it out on everyone around me.

I feel that I owe people a lot of answers of why I've changed, what's changed me, and what I've changed from... but honestly- I don't even know the answers to those questions, and I wish I did.

I don't blame anyone for what's been happening (though many MAY disagree with this), but it's no excuse. I hate feeling like a dick.

I hate when people are dicks for no reason, and sadly enough- that's what has happened to me.
I'm tired of being that person, and I have no reason TO BE that person.

Over the past few months, I've kinda shifted to a Nihilistic state of mind (google Nihilism if you don't know what it means), but that SHOULD mean I just don't care- but I do care for some reason.

I don't know why I can't explain what's happening, but I can't.
I don't want to be the dick anymore, but it's not such a quick transformation.

I'm not Josh Bennett the asshole extraordinaire at heart.
I'm Josh Bennett, the.... nothing.

haha.

I don't know anymore.

To anyone I've hurt lately:

I'm sorry, really- I am.
I'm just... not a happy person.
Though it's quite unfair to take my anger and problems out on you- I'm sorry.
I really am.
I don't know if you'll accept my apology- but please note that I'm being heartfelt.

- Josh

Differences that keep us together

2008-07-10T17:54:00.000-07:00

I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday (for the sake of argument, we shall call this friend Matt- common name, short name, etc), and relationships came up.

This is a fragment of the conversation, somewhat improvised to save time:

Matt: Well she (his girlfriend) freaked out because she thought I called this fugly girl pretty.

Me: That's lame. I mean, even if you did call her pretty- which you didn't, there's not stopping you from thinking someone is attractive. If someone is attractive to you, then they're attractive to you- you can't automatically think someone is unattractive. There are attractive people out there, and you can't stop that.

Matt: I don't know, I don't think I could handle her saying a guy was attractive.

That's the part of the conversation that I want to talk about.
It's certainly insecurity when you can't handle your significant other calling someone else attractive, and it's obviously a problem to him... It's not to me.

I could care less.
I'm a fugly guy, I'm like a 2.5 on a 10 scale- and I know it!

A guy who is insecure thinks he's a 4 when he's actually a 8.5, and it's his insecurity that keeps telling him "she thinks he's more attractive", believe me- as a fugly guy who has had some decently attractive girlfriends, I can honestly say that looks don't count at a certain point.

Maybe I'm sounding like a tool, but I don't know- if you're secure, then you can talk about anything; even the attractive companionships of other human beings.

- Josh.

Souped-up

2008-07-09T22:56:00.001-07:00

Right now it's 1:56 AM here.
I'm feeling good.
Surprisingly good.
I've been kinda perpetually down lately... but I kinda just got happy.
The song choice I had on was a contributor as well (Shining On by Big D and the Kids Table), and I don't know.

I still have nothing to write about, but I'm feeling good.

There's not too much in my favor right now:

1. No girlfriend (le sigh)
2. No job (fuck)
3. No direction (oh well)

But I feel cool.

It's weird, in the morning- I'll be faced with my personal problems again... but, as a message to anyone out there who's feeling bummed... just... listen to something positive.

Happiness is a state of mind, treat it so.

- Josh

PS: If I get bored enough, I'll have a nice blog coming up.

Directions

2008-07-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

SO.
This is ANOTHER blog post about how I have nothing to write about.

The most interesting thing that has happened lately is a little kid we nicknamed Rammsey who can come up with the scariest insults, for being twelve. Some highlights:

1. You can't have my dick!

2. I'll poke your eyes out and skullfuck you!

3. Go fuck your mom

and all of this shit.

The kid was straight up nuts, and he talked about his anger management and stuff.
Funny kid.

Last Few Days

2008-07-06T17:56:00.000-07:00

So I haven't written in almost a week... but it's cool.

It's not that I don't want to write- there just isn't much happening (that I feel I can write about, without hurting or getting others' in trouble), but I've kinda just been hanging out lately.

The past week or so I've kinda just been hanging out with my usual group of friends.

My friend Frankie's cousing Amber (from New York) came in last weekend, so I've been chilling with her a bit lately.

Kinda just having fun this summer, even though I get yelled at constantly for showing up at home at like 4 AM with no explanation.

The second I think of anything to write about- I'll be here :)

- Josh

Instigation, more desperation, and water balloons.

2008-07-01T19:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a day that I would enjoy to forget (for the most part anyways).

Well, Trenton came over yesterday around 1- and we kinda just sat around my house for a bit.

After we left, we strolled around the town- seeing not much action at the town Fair/Carnivale/whatever, we retired to our bench (it's this metal silver bench next to a sidewalk and a road that faces the river). After sitting there hitting and throwing sticks at each other for a good 15 minutes, Matt shows up.

We go up to Circle K and along the way up there- a black car full of people pulls next to us on the bridge and yells something like "You should just throw yourself off a fucking cliff" (Presumably to Matt), and I had no reason to really car- but Matt yelled back "Smoke Crack and Worship Satan!". We get to Circle K and see Adam... moments later, Matt comes out and explains that the cops were called on Adam because the Circle K employees said he wasn't allowed in there (he'd stolen from there before, and been caught). Matt and I tell Adam to take off his shirt so the cop can't find him via apparence. While we're walking on the bridge with Adam, the cop drives by, and doesn't really look twice at us. Adam skates off, and turns left down the sidewalk. A moment later, the cop pulls left, down the same road that Adam went down.

We continue our walk, and turn left down that some road (but we're headed to the park), as we're walking down the sidewalk... the black car pulls up again... This time, they throw a water balloon, and I wasn't watching- so when I felt liquid hit me, my first thought was "Why did Matt just throw his Polar Pop at me?" I look over, and I see the black car again, and Matt running behind it with his Polar Pop lifted above his head. I stood there dazed for a minute, still rather confused as to the event that had just occured.

I look over to Trent, and he got most of the hit- along with a large welt on his back. We talk about it, and see Matt still running. Suddenly, I see the black car pull up a road that's one past us.

I finally saw where Matt was running to. The cop pulled Adam over on the same road that the black car went down... Then I see Matt talking to the cop, and then the cop driving down the road.

We get to Matt, and meet him down the road, and then we all head up to where the cop was parked. When we get up there, the first things we hear are "$500 fine, and possible assault charges", I of course laughed.

As we get closer, Matt says "Look what you did to him he's 14!", and then Trent showed the welt openly.

I got closer to the conversation between the cop and the driver of the black car... then I decide to get in the middle of things, and I start yelling at the driver (his name is Joey, and I went to school with him for a year).

I get in Joey's face (and he's a tall guy), and just starting yelling at him- and the cop doesn't stop me, at all.

Me: What the fuck is your problem?
Him: I didn't even know the guy, he's some kid I've met once!
Me: Don't even fucking lie for the guy, he threw shit at me friend!
Him: I didn't know him! (he looks at the cop to stop me, but the cop kinda just looks away)
Me: Bullshit man, what the fuck- act your fucking age!

As I kinda just stop, the cop wraps things up, then we take a moment to talk to cop and before he leaves he says "Yeah, really fucking mature, they got him hard- so he's probably gonna face charges".

I really didn't care, but Trent's my bud, and they left him a nice-sized welt (even though he didn't really care).

Trent (being soaked) decides to walk home to change a shirt, as Matt (wanting to feel cool) stays at the park... I go with Trent. As we're walking there, he explains an altercation with the driver of the car that he had during the school year.

He said that Joey would always come around to their table trying to sell stuff for their basketball team or something, and his table would always yell at him until he left. Well, one time when Joey came to the table to sell something- Trent picked up a handful of fries, and threw them in his face, kinda shocking him.

I laughed hysterically about it, and then we reminisced about the altercation- and he got home and changed his shirt.

With a fresh shirt on, we headed back to the park. We met up with Matt, and then none other than the great Charlie Nemes showed up. While everything was going cool, I wanted to get out of the sun, but they stayed where they were... So I kinda just left. I got back to them, and Matt thought he'd try to be funny by saying "You're lucky we waited for you", so I walked away again. By myself, I went and sat over at a gazebo.

After a group appeared, I left that one and went on a walk back to my house. I came home, grabbed some shoes and left again. While I was walking back to the park, I met up with Charlie and Trent on the sidewalk. I ask where Matt is and Charlie said "He said he was gonna go swimming with Jesse or something, but we saw him hanging out with a bunch of people over at that Gazebo".

Back with my group, we got back to the park. The second we got back, we saw Frankie and Amber leaving. I ask what's up, and they say they're headed to McDonalds. Seeing as there was nothing happening there, we go with. We get there, and all kinda act silly, and then leave. On the way back- we were walking past Arby's when I saw a large van filled with Amish people.

I yell (at the top of my lungs) "LOOK THEY'RE AMISH!!!", and of course... they hear and stare, and my group looks away in shame (but laughs)... so a second or two later, I yell "THEY DON'T HAVE ELECTRICTY!!!", which- I felt bad... but it was funny.

After we get back to the park, we kinda chill out. Nick shows up, and we're all kinda hanging out. Eventually, Trent disperses with a group of Richie, Rikki, Johnny, and Cameron (but didn't REALLY ditch, because he told us to come along, but we wanted to walk). After Frankie, and Amber left- we hung a bit with the group Trent went to.

A bit later, we kinda just left. We walked around a bit, until Amber came up to me and explained that someone named Brandon Nesbit made her little cousin (Chiara, 11) cry, by saying a bunch of bad things about her brother (Frankie) in front of her. Seeing no Frankie to tell these events to, I decide to find Brandon Nesbit and take matters into my own hands. I find him, and Charlie comes with me to approach him.

He comes by me on the sidewalk and I say "Hey Brandon, come here for a minute".

I ask him why he made her cry, he denied it and said that all he was doing was saying "Hi" to her... which you could sense that as bullshit from a mile away. I told him to leave her and Frankie alone, he said "alright, I'll leave her alone", and walk away. Somehow between the time of me trying to find him, it spread around the Carnivale that I wanted to fight Nesbit... which I of course denied, I just think he should leave 11 yr. old's alone, and not make it your aim to make them cry.

I tell all of this to Frankie, and he says "alright, let's beat their asses", to which I reply "I'll call Chris Wallum and Charlie... they'll all be fucked".

As I kinda spent the rest of the night walking around, I kinda just left to came home.

I get home, and realize that I still feel the same as I did the night before. Quiet, Depressed, and alone.

I'm not sure what it is- it seems that the second that I leave my comfort zone, and be by myself... that I feel insecure, and depressed. Who knows, it doesn't matter all that much.

- Josh.

Desperation, Saccades, and Loneliness.

2008-06-30T19:13:00.000-07:00

So... today was anything but fun for me.

It was fun because I got to see a few friends I haven't spoken to in a while, but... I just had this distinct feeling of being ditched by people the entire day.

I was always with one or two people... but I just kinda had an off feeling about myself all day.

Like I've mentioned before, I have an immense fear of rejection- so when something like that happens... it kinda hurts. I hate the feeling of being ditched, so I recluse from doing it to other people at all chances I can get.

For example; a certain person (who refuses to be named on my blog, guess who) kinda ditched me for Allie (which you can read that story by clicking this link).

Maybe I'm just thinking too much.
I'm not MAD at anyone who left, I just feel... bad about myself.

Because of stuff like that; I was kinda in a bad mood ALL day.

I just kept seeing people today who don't like me, and then I realized why I wanna get out of this fucking town... mainly because no one really likes me, no one enjoys my company. I'm tired of just being an asshole, and people hating me... I don't know.

Maybe I just want that one friend who I can always depend on.
Who won't ditch me for a girl.
Who won't ditch for drugs (unless I'm counted in :P)
I don't know.

- Josh

The Time, The Time, The Fear.

2008-06-29T18:32:00.000-07:00

So, today wasn't TOO out of the ordinary- but I did get to see my friend from New York (my friend Frankie's cousin), and it was cool! She was fun to hang out with, I hung with her and her cousin for most of the day.

Our fun was rather overshadowed by various things though. Weather (which Ohio weather... FUCK), certain people mentioning certain things, etc- but all in all it's been one of the funner days in the past couple weeks.

I'm sleepily sitting around now, kinda waiting for the night to unfold itself for me.

I guess that's kinda how I live my life though- let everything unfold for me... Hm, not the best plan...

- Josh.

Lack of effort.

2008-06-29T11:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I really haven't posted in a few days; mostly because there's nothing happening that needs my attention.

It's been raining a whole lot, and I've just been chilling out with some friends.

With all of this weather keeping me inside- I have had the time to catch up on movies.
Some are recent, some are older, etc- but here's a quick list of the stuff I've watched lately.

1. Everything is Illuminated
2. Bottle Rocket
3. Transformers
4. Oceans 13
5. Number 23
6. American Beauty
7. Almost Famous
8. ... Waiting

And I started watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas last night, which- yeah... if you haven't seen it... it's impossible to look away.

I kept kinda just going "Why the fuck am I still watching this", but I couldn't manage to turn it off- I just kept watching it for another hour; before I was like "It's sleep time", it's just... a fucking nutty movie.

So far- it's just about two guys who go on a drug binged trip to Vegas- and the antics ensue.

It'd be nice if something would happen that I could write about.

- Josh

You're a dick.

2008-06-25T12:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes something funny happens, something that makes NO sense to anyone, including those involved... but allow me to explain.

About a week ago, I forget how it came up- but Katlyn mentioned to me that I was being meaner lately (something which I don't really think is true). I (of course) asked why she believes this to be, and she said that it's because I've been hanging with George, and Joe more lately.

Of course I argued with her, and said that I wasn't being a dick... I just didn't really care anymore. After a recent event, I realized that it's nonsense to take anything in life too seriously, that you should spend it doing what you want- not tending to a habit.

But, whatever.

So as the week progressed... I had more and more people coming to me and saying things like "You drink too much", which... I've drank... maybe three times in the past two weeks... fucking wow, since apparently me drinking at Monica's once has turned me into a dick.

ANYWAYS.

Friday night I kinda got the best of it.

I was on MySpace and posted a bulletin that contained song lyrics that I re-worded, and made it seem as thought I were saying nasty things about one person.

If I can really remember they were kinda like this:

1. I've never forgotten about you.

2. You fall for every guy and go "OMG HE'S MY SOULMATE", which is REALLY fucking annoying.

3. Your taste in music are fucking horrendous.

4. The way you fool guys and lead them on, and claim to be the hurt one is rather amusing, especially as you attempt to be the victim.

5. The guys you like are sub-par to both your looks and personality.

And a few other things like that.

Well, apparently Katie and Katlyn thought I was talking about Katlyn (psuedo-narcissist), so not but five minutes later- Katie posted a bulletin SORTA like this:

Don't talk shit about my friends

You're just a dick.
I'm sure the only one who found it funny was George, because he's your biggest fan.

I don't REALLY care, but I had to reply- and then Katlyn started sommenting me, still thinking that I did it to be mean to her- pretty much bitching at me, still calling out George on being a dick.

So, after a while- I just got kinda tired of it, and posted this final bulletin:

Alright.

So anyone who has been reading these fucking bulletins- I DEEPLY apologize and there shall not be any more from me tonight (unless I post a blog, or something of the sort), but essentially:

People had a misunderstanding.

Attacked my friends (verbally, through me)
Decided that their pseudo-narcissism was in fact brilliant and the best plan
And so a fight ensued.

So- I shall end it here.

Katlyn.

You're dating Bo- congrats dating your 20 yr. old boyfriend.
No pun intended, just- have fun.

Katie.

Seriously... it doesn't even fucking matter... you're whole "omg I'm a hippie- I love being outside" is the most obligatory, ignorant, one-sided, redundant cliche to ever grave this universe- though, it's your life... so more kudos to you.

Then Katie IMed me, IN ALL CAPS (ohhh, woo!) yelling at me for the bulletin, calling me a jerk, etc...

The fact that they took all of what I said offensivly doesn't REALLY bother me- what bothers me is that they attacked George (and Joe) for what appears to be no actual reason.

I asked Katie for a reason why George is a dick, and she gave no real answer... she fed some bullshit like "I see the way he talks to people", what the fuck- I'm the dick... Seriously, if you're gonna call someone a name, at least actually know them. Katie, Katlyn, and all the others who have been telling me this... they're all like under 16... They don't even hang out with them, let alone know George and Joe to even be able to call them dicks.

You kids (those who read this) think I've become a dick since I started actually having fun with my summer... well, I gotta be honest... I don't give a FUCK.

- Josh.

Infection.

2008-06-24T15:55:00.000-07:00

Right now... it's 6:56 PM here... and I feel like shit.

If anyone knows (or remembers) my car crash last year with Cameron- well, it knocked out a molar on the right side of my mouth, when we crashed, my head was turned to the right when we crashed and flew forward- it knocked that tooth out.

Well, I had to occasional pain, and not being able to use that side of my mouth... but it was fine.

Then earlier today... out of nowhere I just got an immense amount of pain emanating from the area of my mouth.

The pains'' been getting worse- so my best speculation is that it's an infection of some type- but penicillin should help it clear straight up.

I'm going to the doctors' tomorrow... but tonight is going to be a major fucking bitch.

With the pain I got, it's been giving me a headache (as one would suppose)... so I'm kinda suffering through the day.

I got Orajel, and Advil to hopefully make help me through the night.

This is some intense pain for me. It's been quite a while- the carwreck didn't even hurt as much as this weird gum/tooth infection.

I'd really enjoy some Nyquil right now...

- Josh

Falling for everyone

2008-06-23T11:19:00.000-07:00

Have you ever met one of those people (usually, a girl), who falls for a guy ALL too easily- and she changes her entire outlook.

One week It'd go "OMG I LOVE ADAM WITH ALL OF MY HEART" on their myspace... then two weeks later "OMG I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE SHIT BY GUYS, BUT I FOUND ONE WHO WON'T... MARK<3"...

You know what I'm talking about, right?

Well... I really hope those girls get pregnant then beaten for the rest of their lives.

If you're so mentally defective that you will fall for EVERY guy in a three foot radius- then... hell, just spend the rest of your life making it your obligation to contract as many STD's as humanly possible.

That goes right next to people who don't like being out of a relationship.

I got out of a seven (or was it eight?) month relationship in February... and I gotta be honest... I dig it.

Seriously... all of you little fucknuggets who get new girlfriends and boyfriends weekly... just trying being single for a week, you might actually change your outlook.

I was just never conditioned to believe that way. I don't NEED to be in a relationship, I don't NEED someone to tell me they love me constantly, I don't NEED to please people.

- JoshBennett

Ceasfire for Giggle factory.

2008-06-20T07:11:00.000-07:00

Well, I've gotten another one.

I now have another person who has said "Quit using my in your blogs", so- I will respectfully do so... but only by his name.

All of the dumb shit this person has said will STILL be put up here, but I cannot use their name any longer.

I'm not that surprised, but I'm just surprised it took this long.

I will not tell anyone who it is, but if you've read my previous blog entry... then you may or may not have your answer.

Honestly; I don't care.

I just think it's funny people take themselves seriously. Who gives a fuck what people think about you, especially the internet land. It's full of psychos who hate you for spelling something wrong.

If someone mentions me (even in a disdainful way)- COOL! Send it to me, that's fine.

The thing I find most humorous is that people take themselves all to seriously and then don't defend themselves... they just say "Don't ever mention me again", or something like that.

PLEASE- fuck your pride, fuck your conscious, be a human.

Fuck your needs, let's worry about the Ethiopians.

If you don't want to be written about- tell me that, and I won't mention you... I won't even be angry, I completely understand.

So- from now on I'll use a codename for this person and their fun little stories. I'm thinkin'.... like Fagzar, or something groovy like that. I'll update you on what I decide to name such.

- JoshBennett

Cut out the PDA.

2008-06-19T20:31:00.000-07:00

So, if you're like me- then you despise PDA (public displays of affection); kissing, sort of dry-humping (seen it), copious amounts of fondle-hugging, and other things that are best left done in the privacy of ones' home.

I've been at the park, and Matt and Lauren show up. I'll just be speaking to him and then he and Lauren would just start fucking making out mid-sentence like he just came back from war!

What the fuck gives?

Why can't we use our time for other things?

You wanna go makeout and creep people out- be my guest, but do it in privacy- no one wants to see that shit happening (no one who won't make fun of you later, or jerk off thinking about it at least), so why do it?

No one really cares about your kissing techniques, where you put your hands when you kiss your significant other, or if you're eating her face while kissing.

Cut the shit.

On behalf of every sane fucking individual out there- cut the shit out.

Can't go to someones' home? Go to the fucking woods.
Live in the desert? Hide behind a cactus.

PDA is one of the few things I believe should be censored- just because I (and many others) REALLY don't want to see it.

Wow- holy shit, you're SO overcome with the body of another human that you have the need to ravage their lips like a death-row prisoner on suicide watch raping his bunk buddy.

Of course (as said in comments), there is nothing with a cute peck on the cheek- but I'm not appreciating the park porno scene being acted out in front of me.

Save it.
Conserve your hormones, you'll want them back when you're an old guy who can't get his dick up.

- Josh.

Little girls and the can man.

2008-06-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

So, the other day at the park... I actually hit pissed off for one of the first times in a long time.

I was at the park with Cameron and his 14 yr. old girl posse showed up circling him and going:

"OMG CAMERON"

"Can you like give us a like ride to the mall?!"

"CAMERON OMG I LOVE YOU"

Well, while they were circling him, I got into his truck and was just sitting around.

Out of nowhere I hear "Oh my god, it's that old creepy guy!", I look and it's Can Man.

Can Man is a local elderly guy who walks around town picking up cans (presumably for scrap), I've often seen people messing with him, and everytime they do I always tell them to fuck off and leave the guy alone.

Well, I could tell that he heard them call him "old creepy guy", and I kinda just looked down.

After he walked around the fence to get inside the park, I saw one of the little cunts go up and say "Hey, I like your hat... Where'd you get it?", and he (of course) ignored her, but looked at her.

She kept asking, then I got out of the truck and started screaming at her.

"Leave the fucking guy alone, you miserable little twat. Go the fuck away, go play on Myspace- or whine to mommy and daddy... just fuck off!"

It pissed me off.

Leave the fucking guy alone.
You think his life isn't bad enough?
Stop being such a little fucking douche-bag, cunt and leave people alone.

Seriously, what can make a person actually go up to a complete stranger, a stranger who has to walk around and collect scrap for money, and be a total asshole to them.

Who knows...
They should be sterilized before they can reproduce.

- Josh.

Be happy with who you are.

2008-06-17T10:48:00.000-07:00

I'm constantly surprised by the foolishness of people in today's day and age.
People who find that looks shall surpass personality, integrity, and will are at a constant marker and high.

Maybe I'm the ignorant one... but why can't people just be happy with who they are?

Why do they find it that gauging their ears to 2 inches, and piercing their septum is cute/attractive?

I'm a fugly guy, so I can say that personality does matter.

What're looks when you're a brain-deaf moron?

Dying you're hair, and stuff- that's cool, I have nothing against you walking around with pink hair... but try not to look like a fucking freak and then take yourself seriously.

Don't gauge your fucking ears, pierce your septum, dye your hair 30 different colors, straighten it 40 times a day and wish to be treated normal, or not to be made fun of.

If you're gonna do it- you're going to have to accept ridicule, stares, and the fact that you're personality and morale is so low- that you want to look like everyone else.

Honestly, if you think those uber-emo hairstyles, pale-white skin, and septum piercings are a trademark of beauty, then you might consider yourself retarded and just start drooling on yourself.

You are who you are- be that person, don't be the one that everyone else sees when they walk down the street.

- Josh.

Complain, complain, complain

2008-06-16T11:25:00.000-07:00

Well, apparently (to some) I've changed.
How? I'm not quite sure.

Maybe it's because now I actually drink with the company of other humans, instead of depressingly in my basement.

Personally- I still feel the same, but I have a bit of a different outlook on a few things in my life. The fact is this- we all change to a certain degree in our lives at some point (though it may be more often and the change may be slight to dramatic), but we all change.

It's taken me changing to realize that it's none of my business how other people have/are changing.

If someone wants to suddenly start doing drugs- It's none of my business until they hurt themselves or someone else.

If someone suddenly decides to take up bestiality- fucking go for it man.

I used to do the same thing to people, talk about "how much they've changed"... but ever since I had a bit of an epiphany, I've realized that I should welcome their change with open arms instead of chastise and shit on their beliefs.

Thought one could make the argument that often these changes could be bad things- like a switch from civil rights activism to neo-nazism, but- until they're burning crosses on yards... I say go for it.

- Josh.

Feelin' bad

2008-06-15T15:42:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm feeling kinda down.
I've kinda been lingering on the thoughts of what happened last night (read previous blog entry if you're wondering). I know it happens, but... eh, I still feel pretty terrible that they had to clean up after my vomiting ass.

I was talking to Dillion, and he said that they were gonna put me downstairs in the dog cage (which I probably wouldn't have cared), but Monica wouldn't let them near me.

Which I thought was actually pretty sweet.

That's never really happened, haha. Most times when I get fucked up EVERYONE was in on fucking with me, I don't know- kind of cool that she noted how fucked up I was.

I'm still not COMPLETELY sure what I feel so bad about, I think I'm more ashamed that I got that fucked up, puked my brains out at George's.

Pacing is a bitch.

- Josh.

Never do it again: drink that much that quick

2008-06-15T10:44:00.000-07:00

Well, it's almost 2 PM here on fathers' day... and I'm sitting here... feeling dumb as fuck.

Last night around 12 or so- George asked if I wanted to come over and get drunk with them (them being Joe and Monica), and I didn't have much going on- so I decided to.

After George and Joe came and got me- we went back to George's and played a few drinking (card) games, while just chilling out.

When George lost in one game, he donned the Heineken beer case as a hat that said "ASSHOLE" on it.

While we're all sitting around... Monica comes downstairs to deliver news, "There's four more beers left, then both cases are done"... which was depressing as I got my 3rd or 4th beer in me... Then (the slowly getting drunk) George reminds of us of the wine that he has.

As my final beer was killed off- I went and grabbed a bottle of wine and just started drinking it, walking around with it at that.

I remember walking around with the bottle of wine, drinking it and Joe going "Dude, you've kinda been chugging that since you got it... might wanna slow down", and then I looked at it to see that I had pretty much killed the entire bottle myself.

Monica stole the remaining bit, only to spill it upstairs.

Eventually, DK showed up, and he was having fun drinking with the rest of us.

Somehow, Crazy Carl showed up- and said he'd beat my ass, before handing me a beer.

After that... I don't really remember anything at all.

I woke up on George's couch this morning around 10 AM.

While I walked home, I looked at my shirt- and saw that I had what looked like... red vomit... then I remembered that we had Nacho Cheese Doritos.

When I got in contact with Monica- this is what she said happened:

anyways.....fuck you you fucking fuck for eating a roast before you went drinking! hahaha it took me like 40 min to get all that meat to go down the sink by poking it with a screw driver...

hah but its all cool. as always fun time was had by all.

While I pondered this, and thought of the Dorito vomit, I commented her back and told her that I had no idea what happened, to which she said this:

but not only did you puke every where you dropped and broke the bottle of whiskey! lol

Another thing I was unbeknownst to.

How we got that bottle of whiskey- I'll probably never know.

I drank WAY too much, in way too little time.

Worst part is: I'd do it again.

- Josh

Amazed at the anger in people.

2008-06-14T18:35:00.000-07:00

I just got home, I was out with Cameron.

He'd decided to drive home real quick and grab a hoodie.

Along the drive, we saw a guy (about our age) on the side of the road, and he just made a gesture- kind of like a hi, but with most tension on the index and middle fingers... when Cameron flips his shit.

He says "I'm gonna fight that motherfucker" and screams and calls the guy a whore, and I tell Cameron to just keep driving. Cameron says "He fucking flipped me off!", to which I said "No he didn't (which Cameron interrupted to say Yes he did), he just gave a weird hand gesture. Don't act like one of those fucking gangster kids if they're saying shit about me, I'm gonna fight them, seriously Cameron- who's mind is that gonna change."

He didn't reply, but then drove to his house.

It was at that moment that I realized how ignorant most people are.

What if that guy DID flip him off?

Who fucking cares?

WOW
SOMEONE DOESN'T LIKE YOU
BIG FUCKING WOOP.

Get the fuck over yourself, people.
No one can change his mind except you.
Do you really want to change his mind to make him think you're an asshole by kicking his ass, or do you want to make him feel like a jerk by simply stating the problem and talking it out like civilized humans?

People wonder why war exists, why people fight and riot- it's because people give a fuck.
Stop caring about what other people think, and focus on yourself before you bitch about other people and how useless they are.

Let's move on.

- Josh Bennett

Matt and his life purpose Pt. 1

2008-06-14T13:16:00.000-07:00

Now my friend Matt is OFTEN mentioned on this blog, and is often mentioned in great detail as being a subject of ridicule- but sometimes (not too often), he becomes a good purpose to a blog.

We were at the park the other day, and Matt said there was no good music in the 90's, to which I disagreed... and started naming off bands... then I realized; to him, music is metal- he has no other form of music other than metal and rap (with the exception of an EITS song or two, and Cursive)... but he's allowed to think what he wants, but come on- if you're gonna view music, view it as a WHOLE- not one or two genres.

It was later on that I found out that Matt has a big part of this blog. His life purpose is to say stupid shit for me to write about.

Read the comments on a few of the blogs that include Matt and they'll say "Why is that kid so dumb?", "Haha, funny shit", or some other things that view Matt in a negative light.

Matt is a good guy, but dumber than dirt- and his purpose in this universe is to keep saying silly stuff that makes him sound retarded.

Cheers to Matt!

- Josh

Don't mess with the Jesus

2008-06-11T09:55:00.000-07:00

Casually, I could care less what one person thinks, not in a rude sense... just in the sense that we all have our ideas, and no two people are exactly the same, but there is one group of people that should be disallowed from believing what they wish.

I have no problem with faithful, and religious people... but I have a problem with "preachy" people... those people are casually (but not always) teenagers who were converted to Christianity by a friend... and then they feel high and mighty, which gives them the right to preach to everyone, and throw in their two cents every possible moment.

Well yesterday I was with Mike Kochman, and Cameron at the park when Mike's little sister (even though her and I are the same age), Kara showed up... and I'd had run-ins with her about religion before... because she watched a youtube video of a guy who said he experienced hell and... she fucking believed it... which... yeah, and she also belongs to the aforementioned group of "preachy" people.

Kara and her guy-friend went off to swing, so we all started making jokes and making fun of each other (like usual), and then Kara and the guy came over... and I kind of just said something to Kara, to which this conversation was sparked:

Kara: Josh Bennett, I'm not afraid of you.
(She then walks over to me, and is kinda up in my face, even though I wasn't facing her... and she's like 5'2.)
Me: Oh no! Let me pray to god about this one... God I know you're busy letting Etheopian children starve tonight... but could you come here and help Kara?
(she continues to get closer to me)
Me: I know that war, famine, and disease run rampant across the world... but please! Take a moment from ignoring them and help me, a sinner!
(She gets closer)
Me: I know that abortion is wrong, even though you allowed us to create it- so please, please help Kara before you ignore that any further!
(she gets as close as she can, Cam and Mike are literally dying in laughter)
Me: Please god, please- smite me, smite me!

She turns and walks away, but calls me a dick. She walks over to the trashcan, where directly next to it- someone dropped a coke bottle. She said "Why do people have to litter?!", to which I replied "God allowed us to create plastic, ask him.", which she attempted to counter... but failed miserably.

She threw the coke bottle at me and left.
I was (and still am) proud of myself.

If you're a religious person, congrats, you deserve it.
If you're a preachy person- fuck off.

I like faith.
I don't like what religion instills in people.

- Josh

The Bear Man

2008-06-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

So as I sit here writing this, Cameron is eating cereal and watching the Science channel.

We just got back from James Yaratch's party.
And... well it was a journey.

Cameron, Mike Kochman, and myself decided to go out there earlier this evening, but decided to leave around 9:30-ish to head there.

None of us knew the way out there so we call (the already buzzed) Charlee for directions.

We get directions slowly and make our way out there... While we're going down some dark, random road... when we see this large brown... bearlike object kind of hobbling across the road... of course we fucking stare... and it's in face a big, black fellow in a bear costume making his way across the street. While we drive past, I look and see him staring at this... my first thoughts were "OH FUCK, WE'RE GONNA DIE TONIGHT".... While we pondered this, a deer jumped in front of the truck, and we hit a frog.

After we finally arrive at said party... we hang around a bit with a bunch of people we knew, and a few we were new with. We hung around for a little under an hour before Cam's parent's crashed our party.

Now... I sit here, 15 minutes later, listening to an odd mixture of Defiance, Ohio and the Science channel.

Who knows what's gonna happen.

- Josh

Seriously.

2008-06-09T11:43:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I had two open houses (Clay's and Richie's, for those who were wondering), and my friend Trent (he looks like Aaron Gillespie from Under0ath) wanted to come along to Richie's, but I had to stop at Clay's beforehand- so he came with me there, we had also agreed to meet Matt and Josh G. at 3 or so at Dairy Queen to all walk together out to Richie's open house.

While Trent and I were sitting at Clay's- Cameron showed up, and said he was headed out to Richie's open house (which is a nice, long, HOT, walk), so we decided to just get a ride. I called up Josh G. and told him that Cameron would just give us all a ride- and he said alright... Five minutes later he called back and just said that they would walk... fine.

A short while later we left for Richie's open house.

After we got there, the "group" was all by a table. Trent, Cameron and I join them and we're all just sitting around making fun of each other- talking, and stuff.

About 20-30 minutes later- Matt gets up and goes "Yeah, I think I'm gonna leave".

That's cool, do what you want- walking in that blistering heat.

So as the night progresses, a bunch of us end up at Clay's house playing video games... which turns into all of us making fun of each other until 5 AM (that's when I left at least).

I get online today, IM Matt- and tell him he missed out on all the fun (including a deathcore band that played Richie's open house, us tying tons of helium balloons to a soda can and making it float off into the distance, and a skate video about a mysterious rabbit), to which this conversation happened:

Matt: You guys were being dicks.
Me: Dude, we were all being dicks to each other, it's how it rolls.
Matt: Nah, you guys were ganging up on me.
Me: No we weren't, we all make fun of each other... you're an easy target, that's not my fault.

It may have sounded rude... but it's true.

We ALL make fun of each other.
NO ONE IS EXEMPT.

Even Trent (the youngest and least familiar with the group) took the making fun of- and then everybody loved him, and was fine with him.

You can't expect to be instantly welcomed without a backlash.

When you try looking like a badass, straightening your hair 3 - 5 times a day for 30 minutes a day- you're gonna get made fun of.

When you talk about getting your septum pierced and guaging your ears- you're gonna get made fun of by someone.

While you try looking like other people, those people are actually having fun while you perfect looking like them.

The day he can take the making fun of- is the day he'll be openly welcomed into the group by me.

- Josh

Golden tunes

2008-06-07T20:54:00.000-07:00

So, I was just thinking about music.
(as I listen to Beck's album Sea Change)

And I really dig hearing (and exploring) new bands... so I figured I'd throw down a few really groovy bands that everyone should really check out.

1. Dawn Of The Dude

REALLY great power-pop and ska.
Extremely cool guys all around the board.

http://www.myspace.com/dawnofthedude

2. The Nova Echo

An extension of a guys' solo project turned to a band.
Awesome music, VERY synthy and but I dig it.

http://www.myspace.com/thenovaecho

3. Adam West

Intense beat-maker/cool guy.
Check out the tunes and drop him a line.

http://www.myspace.com/iconicstylee

4. Miapollo

Great indie (inspired) rock.
Cool Ohioians.

http://www.myspace.com/miapollomusic

5. Wake The Lion

Screamo/metal group, good music.
Good writing.

http://www.myspace.com/wakethelion

6. The Wrong Trousers

Fun music, great "Video Killed the Radio Star" cover.

http://www.myspace.com/thewrongtrousers

My hatred for UPS.

2008-06-06T08:31:00.000-07:00

So I've never really been a fan of UPS- it always just seems like they just don't give a shit, but at least they could do their fucking job.

Going back a week or two- my grandfather was having a package delivered from his brother (my great-uncle) in California, and his brother was sending it via UPS, but with sign on delivery.

Well they were waiting for the expected date when it would arrive... but the package wasn't delivered by UPS, it was delivered by our neighbor two houses down. He showed up at our door (drunk) and he said he was drinking with the UPS guy and the UPS guy asked him if he knew our address and being our neighbor, he did know- and so he brought the package.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

What does it take for a motherfucker to find our house? It's not even concealed!!! My house is in the middle of town for fucks sake, all they'd have to say to the (possibly drunk) UPS guy is "That big white house next to the Funeral Home" and I'm sure they'd have better luck.

That was fine... but then I bought shoes, and I kept waiting on them (anxiously), and the expected arrival date was June 4th. So I was waiting around all day, then around 4PM I checked the tracking number and it says they were delivered. I ask my grandma and she says that she hasn't heard the door or anything, so I go look out on the back porch and the UPS guy APPARENTLY tried throwing them on my porch, but instead missed the porch, said fuck it and left, because they were at the bottom of my outside basement stairs.

If I NEVER have to use UPS ever again... I'll be happy.

- Josh.

Downtime.

2008-06-05T09:44:00.000-07:00

So this is just a quick, quick post to update some stuff.

STILL NO JOB.

I'm also devoting a nice bit of time to Judging Giraffes, and I'm looking for another reviewer (contact me via e-mail: skylightaftermidnight@yahoo.com if you're interested) or two.

I have fun reviewing stuff, but I also have fun writing my stories and stuff in here. Hopefully after I get my shit in line, I'll be back to writing here more often, though I highly doubt my shit making sense.

With summer starting up, I'll be at home less- and that means I probably won't be writing as much... but then again, who knows?

I'll keep doing my best to write as much as I can, as long as I can.

Have a good day guys.

- Josh

Smores

2008-06-04T02:17:00.000-07:00

Last night, I fell asleep early (around 9, not feeling too good) and I was awoken by a phone call around 10:30 by my friend Sam, and the phone call went a bit like this:

Me: Hello?
Sam: Hey
Me: Yeah, what's up?
Sam: Nothing, but uhhhh my sister is on her way.
Me: Ugh, why?
Sam: She wants you to go make smores with her friend Sam and somebody else.
Me: Well I'm not going.
Sam: I know that, that's why I wouldn't give her your number. Were you asleep?
Me: Yep.
Sam: Yeah, so they're on their way to your house.
Me: Son of a bitch, alright. Thanks.
Sam: Sorry.
Me: It's no big deal.

So I get out of bed, SWEATING- I throw on a t-shirt and walk outside. As I walk around the corner, I see Selena and she calls Becky and her friend Sam over after going up and knocking on my front door.

I tell them I'm not going to make smores, I'm going back to sleep. I walk back inside, tell my grandmother goodnight and fall back asleep.

Jesus Christ.
If you really want to hang out and make smores- motherfucker don't show up at my house at 10:30 after no one will give you my number.

I would've hung out, but not when they just show up at my house like that, especially while I'm sleeping.

Otherwise- call first.
It just pissed me off that they show up at my house like that.

I'm not really angry, I was just kind of pissed that people woke me up.

Besides- I have my last day of class today, so I probably wouldn't have went knowing I had to do that.

Also; those three girls were all like 14... What the fuck?

Good kids, just insanely silly.

- Josh.

Also; DON'T FORGET TO CHECK OUT JUDGING GIRAFFES UNDER FRIENDS.

Quick stuff.

2008-06-03T10:00:00.000-07:00

So this is just a quick post for an update.
I'm opening a NEW blog.
I enjoy reviewing things- but I don't really want to turn IoS into that.
The IoS is my journal, my stories, and my rants- so in order to HELP keep the preservation of my blog intact I've decided to open a blog simply for the purpose of reviewing Movies, Books, Music, and probably other things.

So go ahead and bookmark the new site, and hopefully I'll have some stuff up there by the end of the day:

http://judginggiraffes.blogspot.com/

Also: Check out Lauren's photoblog under the friends' links.

- Josh

R.E.M. - Accelerate

2008-06-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

Whether or not you like R.E.M., you cannot deny the catchiness that they have, and the infectious feeling that songs like "It's the end of the world (and I don't care)", or "Man on the Moon" have. The instant feeling to make you want to jump up and sing along to their tunes.

After their first album in years, an attempt to rehash their repuation (after a collosal failure called Around the Sun), REM release their new album since 2004 called "Accelerate".

As the opening track "Living Well is the Best Revenge" cues in, and the vocals start- you can tell that they're just having fun at this point. The vocals (though seriously written, and written well) sound like he's seen the world and he's bringing back the gift of a light-hearted nature.

While the tracks progress, you can notice the songs feel like they're having callbacks. The chorus of "Supernatural Superserious" sounds strikingly similar to that of the song "Stand"- but a good song nonetheless, and is also the first music video for the new album:

The song "Houston" is played via an acoustic guitar, but with an organ and drum kit backing it up- it gives a very bluesy psuedo-guerrilla feel while making Michael Stipe pull off his traditional raspy-yet-harmonic voice echo that only he could pull off.

In many albums the title track is usually the pinnacle of the album, and often the reason they've named the album after a song so respected in their own magnitude... Though sometimes that song will turn out to be a bit wretched and you can't wait for it to be over, as is the case with the title track "Accelerate", which apparently just seems to repeat the chorus indefinitely over it's three minute span, which I ask why they'd name their album over such a shitty, shitty song.

After the title track, the song "Mr. Richards" comes on, and is probably my favorite track from the album- albeit it may also be the most simple one- simply written, but wonderfully played and sung by all involved with it.

Probably the biggest surprise is the song "I'm Gonna DJ", which is constant drum and rhythm the entire time while Michael Stipe sings affection ally over the entire song.

Though the album is a bit lackluster, it's still a great album. No one can ever deny the writing abilities of Michael Stipe and company. It's nice to see them writing and performing again, but it's a bit depressing knowing they'll NEVER write anything nearly as amazing as they did "back in the day", so to speak- they're an amazing band, and it's hard to understand that those years of brilliant writing are very well behind them, but it's opened up a new door of experimentation- as long as they learn that songs like "I'm Gonna DJ" could be their future- they'll be fine.

Final score: 7.5/10

Outcast.

2008-06-02T12:44:00.000-07:00

I just got back home.
I walked to the park, saw people I knew- a few of them even said hi to me.
For some reason... I just feel like an outcast.
I only have... five friends in this town.
All of the others can just fuck off.
All of my friends live nowhere close to me- though varying regions of Northeastern, Ohio.
I've been feeling more alone than usual lately.
I want to just... go away.
I'm tired of feeling alone, but it's my fault alone, no one has done a single thing to me.

The reason I feel alienated is because I allow myself to feel this way.
I REALLY want to just want to be a happy person, and move on... but I can't.

I can't really recall the last time I actually felt happy.
Even when I was in a relationship.
I want to do something, anything to feel happy.

I'm tired of hating myself, and everything around me.
I need something.
anything.

- Josh

Albums to listen to in 2008

2008-06-01T07:55:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone.
Not much is happening today.
Kind of blank on writing, but I'm trying to fill in spots that are made when I don't write for a few days.
It was a fun, happening, out-there weekend- but it's just stuff I know people wouldn't be interested in hearing of.

So, instead I've compiled a nice little list of albums I look forward to checking out this year (and some from this year I HAVE checked out).

R = Released
NYR = Not Yet Released

1. In Rainbows - Radiohead (R)
2. Unfamiliar Faces - Matt Costa (R)
3. Odelay (Deluxe Edition, 10th Anniversary) - Beck (R)
4. The Bedlam In Goliath - The Mars Volta (R)
5. Board Up The House - Ghengis Tron (R)
6. Float - Flogging Molly (R)
7. 13 Blues for 13 Moons - Thee Mt. Zion Silver Orchestra & Tra-La-La-La Band (R)
8. Consolers of the Lonely - The Raconteurs (R)
9. Accelerate - REM (R)
10. Attack and Release - Black Keys (R)
11. Rising Down - The Roots (R)
12. Odd Couple - Gnarls Barkley (R)
13. Weezer (Red Album) - Weezer (NYR)
14. Seeing Sounds - N*E*R*D (NYR)
15. Meo Suo I Eyrum Vio Spilum Endlalaust - Sigur Ros (NYR)
16. Last 2 Walk - Three 6 Mafia (NYR)
17. GNV FLA - Less Than Jake (NYR)
18. Self Medication - Slackers (R)
19. The Third World - Immortal Technique (NYR)
20. Agony and Irony - Alkaline Trio (NYR)
21. Nigger - Nas (NYR)
22. Untitled - Aquabats (NYR)
23. Untitled - RANCID (NYR)
24. Untitled - Social D (NYR)

Those are just a few of the albums I'm anticipating/listening to since their release this year. I especially recommend the new Slackers album "Self Medication", good shit.

Good times pt. 1

2008-05-29T06:13:00.000-07:00

So, as another series (apart from my Bible, which WON'T be written this week), I'm working on another one. It's essentially stories that I've experienced with various friends over the years.

This story is about the time Charlie and I spooned at a party.

It was the car show of 2006, and Johnny Baker (of A Bittersweet Catastrophe, pun intended) asked if I wanted to go to a party later that night in Warren, where some people were gonna be. At first I was rather hesitant, because I get super shy and super quiet around people I don't know, and people who's offensive limits I can constantly stretch. Eventually I decided to- telling me grandparents I was staying at Johnny's.

We end up there around 7PM after listening to Johnny ATTEMPT to sing along to He Is Legend (something Charlie and I still talk about to this day, it was HORRIBLE), and then we got to the house of one Tiny Tina, a foul-mouthed kid who was really groovy and pretty much always had the house to herself... in the middle of the Ghetto.

So, the "older" ones keep attempting to get alcohol of any type. As nothing prevails, Charlie and I end up sitting on Tina's roof, peeing off the side of it into the neighbors yard.... WELL, about ten minutes later TWO cop cars show up and shine the light on us.

I yell down "Is there a problem officer?", and he tells us to come down.
We go back inside, tell the two others in the house (everybody else went to look for alcohol), and they said don't even answer the door... but Charlie and I went down.

I attempted to shake the cops hand but he said "You can shake hands with my flashlight", to which I did... Probably more pleasant than shaking his hand. We made up some bullshit about Tina taking a hurt friend home, and the cops left.

So... we all keep just laying around chilling out... then Charlie and I (for some unknown reason to this day), end up spoon vertically with our legs more than hanging over the side of the bed while someone else slept just to the left of us, taking up the bed. About ten minutes later... Johnny, Tina and some other guy walk in with bags full of alcohol... I look at the clock and it says "8:14 AM", and so we sat around drinking for a good twenty minutes.

Later on, I got a ride home and fell asleep 10:30PM the next night.

- Josh

Something seriously wrong with this town

2008-05-25T21:17:00.000-07:00

I've always dug living in Newton Falls, it's just always seemed like a cool little place to raise a family.
Whenever I was moved away from Newton Falls (Florida, Georgia, Arizona) I craved living back there.
Now that I'm living here... I've finally noticed that this is a horrible, wretched, terrible town.

The people are useless and rude, more often than not.
The stereotypes that barrage this town are more provocative than "Catcher In The Rye".

We have black kids who deal drugs and get in trouble with cops.
Mexicans who drive low-riders.
Middle-Eastern people who own a convenience store.
White people who are racist and hunt.
Asian kids who sit around and play video games.

This town is every terrible Hollywood B-movie since 1975.

None of those stereotypes can make up for what I saw yesterday.
I was sitting at the skate park with Selena, Georgianne, Katie, Matt, and Mike when Matt told me to look over to the side of the mini.

I looked and saw someone (that I know) with a little baggy of brown powder, (presumably Heroin or a crushed up pill)... It wasn't THAT bothersome... as much as when I heard the guy snort it.

I looked this time, while he did another line.

Fuck.

It bothered me to see that shit going down 30 feet away from a playground where kids were playing.
How could I have been so ignorant all this time.
How fucking dumb could I be to never really notice the impact it was making.

It's fucktards like that, and people who smoke pot at the park that are making this town a piece of shit.
At least do it in the comfort of your home, but on a skate park ramp?!

What the fuck!?

I just want to get out of here.

- Josh.

A night that doesn't help

2008-05-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

So, many (if not most) people are unaware of my deepseated fear of rejection.
It's just something I can't help.
I hate the feeling of rejection.
I can DEAL with it very easily, but for some reason it always stays in my head what I could've said, what I should've done, etc.

And... last night didn't really help.

Earlier yesterday Fred, Cameron, Matt, Josh G. and I went to a friend of ours' open house.
It was cool, we got to hangout, say hi to a few people, etc- then we left.

We then decided to show up to her after-party later that night.
Except it was only Cameron, Fred, and I.

Well... it didn't rollover too well.

We debated amongst ourselves who was the one to go up and knock or walk in.
It came down to me manning up to do it.
So I just walk straight in while the "host" of the party is walking up the stairs, and this is the conversation that went down:

"Host": Who invited you guys
Me: You, duh.
"Host": No I didn't.
Me: Oh... well.. uh.
"Host": Well you guys aren't drinking.
Me: I didn't really plan on it.
"Host": You can sit around with us smoking, just go to the garage.
Me: Oh alright, we'll go through this side.

I turn around, walk out say to Fred "That was rude" and then we decided to run back to Fred's car and just leave, to which we did.

I've always hated that fear of rejection, but I don't know- last night didn't really help me at all.

It's just something I've always had to deal with.
It's no huge deal, just a problem.
Anyways.
How was everyone elses' night?

- Josh

If you don't like it, don't read it.

2008-05-24T11:45:00.001-07:00

So, I read something a few minutes ago that irked me even though it wasn't meant for me (or so I'd like to believe).

A day or so ago I was talking and someone said "No one cares what you think", and even though I kept talking this little twat kept on going "who cares", "why do you think you're better than everyone?!".

That one took it to an extreme.
I constantly make fun of myself, poke fun at my small penis, and call myself a loser- so how do I think I'm better than anyone? Because I jokingly tell a person they have a minute to talk.

Get the fuck over yourself.

If you don't like what I have to say- then don't read this blog, don't listen to me.
I'm not telling anyone to listen and believe in my way of life, because I know that would be an idiotic thing to do.

I like different people.
I like knowing conservatives, Christians, and other people of different stance and belief- those people keep you going.

I'd hate to live in a world where everyone believes the same things I do.
That'd be a scary place.

The only thing I say or do with my blog is this:

It's my blog, it's my mind- it's not yours.
You're comments and addons are welcome, but if you have anything more than constructive criticism, complements, or a debate to ensue then fuck off.

No one gives a shit that you're a whiny cunt who has a problem with people who don't agree in everything that you do.

If you disagree with my blog and things I say- then I thank you.
If you have an angry refusal to see the differences between people and mankind, then go get 10 people who believe in the same shit as you, and pull another Waco incident.

- Josh

Shitty Modern Rock, The Compiled List.

2008-05-24T06:40:00.000-07:00

Some people may know of my disdain for modern rock.
A lot of it is just shitty, pointless, faux-glam, over-grunge.
Because of me dooming hatred of modern rock, I've compiled the complete list of modern rock bands (that are around today), that should fall off of the side of the universe.

1. Nickleback.

"LOOK AT THOSE FUCKING CATS"

2. Seether

Really?

3. Stone Sour

Sounds like a shitty whisky.

4. Stone Temple Pilots

Terrible, terrible, terrible.

5. Godsmack

Horrah- another post-grunge band.

6. Buck Cherry

"CRAZZZZZYYY BITCH"
Yeah? FUCK YOU.

7. Velvet Revolver

Velvet = a fabric commonly associated with the color red, the same color as roses.
Revolver = a gun
= Guns -n- Roses

8. Korn

*sigh*
cut your dreads. Whitey.

God knows there are more, but these bands are pretty shitty in my opinion. It's just too bad that I can't include creed- a no-talent band which my friend Nick constantly defends. he says "God gave his voice to Scott Stapp", no he didn't. He didn't, Scott Stapp is a miserable drunk who doesn't even sink- he leaves all of the ending syllable from every word and just pronounces the first letter or two, that's not singing... THIS is singing:

That's Otis Redding, possibly one of the best Soul singers of all time.
There are such great voices out there (Nick Cave, Norah Jones, Cat Power, Cee-Lo Green, Al Green, Adam Green), so people have no need to listen to shitty rhythm guitar, and repetitive drum beats.
I think I hate most music.

- Josh.

Abortion and it's dangle.

2008-05-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

As many (if not all) people know, there is a large fundamental debate on the subject of abortion.
For the most part I've always been pro-choice, it's a woman's body- not mine.
It seems like only hardcore-bible-thumping nimrods are pro-life, so I have one question...

WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE?

It's not your fucking baby, and are you aware of the extreme amount of people who die on a daily basis all around the world- about 200,000- and less than 1,000 are from abortion.

It's fucking pathetic.
What in the fucking universe gives you the right to decide if a girl should have a baby or not?

"But it's gods will" they fucking say- and I call bullshit.

In this day and age would god really be letting shit like Katrina, Darfur, or the war in Iraq happen?

FUCK NO.

Who would really want to bring a child into life in this day and age anyways.

It's dangerous to breathe the air, it's dangerous to eat the unwashed vegetables, wear helmets when you leave the house (or is that just me?), and keep in line.

FUCK YOUR LINES!
FUCK YOUR VAGINA!

- Josh.

Leave it alone.

2008-05-23T06:22:00.000-07:00

Well, my blog has reached a new peak- it's gotten me in trouble outside of the internet.
Yesterday I talked to Cameron, and he's doing fine, but obviously shaken up, and grounded.

About 5 or so yesterday, I went up to the park (after hearing from a friend that people were pissed at me because of my blog post about Cameron the other day), and I saw one of the guys (Jack), and apologized for the misunderstanding- that I was only going from what I kept constantly hearing from other people (that Cameron started to freak and they ran away). Well then I saw another person that was in the truck (Dom), and he and I got into a bit of an argument, because he kept hearing from people that I was talking shit about him, calling him all these names, which is far from the truth if you read my post about it. Like I said, I was only going from what I kept hearing. Dom explained to me what went down, and I explained what I heard- and thankfully, he and I are cool now.

Here is the redux of the "real" story:

Dom, Jack, Haley, and Cameron were all sitting in Cameron's car. Dom was the only one NOT smoking with them. Cameron started freaking and flipping out shortly afterwards and hitting Haley. Dom restrained him and locked him in his car, and went up to the courts to find somebody to help while Jack and Haley went another way.

BUT

Somehow from my post the other day about the incident- SOMEBODY pulled that "two of my best friends ditched Cameron", "Fuck Cameron he's a piece of shit", "I fucking hate Dom"... which I said NONE OF IT.

I'm cool with Dom, but he's far from being my best friend. He's a cool guy, but that's as far as it goes.

Come on, I never edit my blogs down, and odds are if you've done something- you're in this blog. It just pisses me off that people would really take me that far out of context ON THE INTERNET.

Leave your shit when you leave the house, no one wants to be surrounded by emotional baggage.

- Josh.

Too Far

2008-05-22T07:25:00.000-07:00

Once again, I bring you a tale from yesterday.
After what happened with Cameron, I didn't think it could get any worse... WELL, it did... Just not for me.

I was sitting at a bench outside of the park with Trevor, Corbin, Jesse, and two girls I didn't really know. We were having fun just making each other laugh, but then Adam walks out and comes up to Trevor and says "So I heard you wanted to fight me", a huge group walked out with Adam, and I turned to ask Tommy what's going on and he said "We're just fucking with Trevor.", now I mentioned Trevor and his mouth (which you can read here) so I couldn't really tell if he did say something at first. Well, Trevor says he didn't say anything about him and Adam smacks him in the face, and Trevor goes "yeah, that's great", and I just thought Trevor was in on the joke at that point, so I wanted to see it play out.

About ten minutes later, Adam comes back out with a huge group and pulls his shit again- except... this time he hits Trevor's head backwards into the fence, and I said "Alright guys, let's chill.", but Adam wouldn't have it... he pulled Trevor's hair and pulled him off of the bench. Trevor kicked Adam, and said "I DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING DO ANYTHING TO YOU", and walked away angrily with a red face. Jesse and I chased him down and talked to him and chilled him out, even though I scared some kid away who was trying to make Trevor fight Adam by:

1. Beating him with a flip-flop
2. Chasing him with my penis out.

I'm not really friends with Trevor- but they took that shit too far. It was a joke until he started hitting him. I felt bad because I didn't stick up for Trevor earlier- but I thought he was cool with Adam. I'd do the same thing for anyone, because I'd want them to do it for me.

- Josh.

Iggnorance is no excuse

2008-05-21T19:26:00.000-07:00

Earlier today, something major happened- something that makes me see a few people in my life differently. I'll explain from the beginning.

I left the park (to head home for dinner) at about 4:50 or so. I was walking down the gravel path that stretches from parking lot to parking lot, and as I came around the side of the storage building I saw Cameron's truck (it's a lowrider with blue flames... you can't fucking miss it). His windows were rolled up, and I saw somebody just laughing fucking nonstop. I figured they were laughing at me, so I just made a jerking motion and kept walking.

I came back, and as I was coming toward the parking lot where Cameron's truck was parked a girl came up and said "You're friends with Cameron, aren't you?", I said yes and she said that I needed to get over and help him. I asked what happened and she said that she doesn't know, but he's twitching and stuff in his truck. I walk over, and his feet are hanging out the one side of the window, he pants are around his ankles and his hood is up as he's laying face down on the truck's seat. I said "fuck him" and just walked away, a bit pissed off- I got up to the skatepark asked Tommy what happened and he told me he was smoking pot with two other people I know.

We walk back down there and a crowd is building around his truck. They're all figuring out what to do. While we're all speculating, Cody Simmons pulls up and someone tells me to say something to his dad (who has always been a rude asshole to me), so I do and then repeats to Cody "what did he just say?", I was about to maul the motherfucker.

While we were standing there one of the people he was smoking pot with comes up, laughs (Or so I heard) and left. So, while they keep speculating- they decide that someone will follow Cody's dad in Cameron's truck with Cameron. They set Cameron up, and he's still just twitching and staring and freaking out.

I later found out that the two people he smoked pot with just bailed on him after he started freaking out. That's what pisses me off. He could've fucking had seizures and fucking dropped dead and those two people left him there all alone. The tenacity and stupidity of some people baffle me beyond any mortal comprehension.

- Josh

Not even Techno is safe!

2008-05-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

What an atrocity!
THE MADNESS
HOW IN THE WORLD COULD SOMEONE FUCK UP... TECHNO!

That's right.
We all have a small inclination to listen to techno, even at parties.
Most of the time it sounds like white noise with drumbeat, but other times you catch a groovy DJ like Jaguar Skills or Fatboy Slim.
It seems as though Techno is more commonly associated and created (well or the best) by British and Eurotrash DJ's and musicians.

Just like fucking Americans to ruin something hardly listenable in the first place.
If you haven't heard of this fellow named Jeffree Starr, essentially he's a crossdresser with pink hair and a lisp.

He/she/it looks a bit like a Disney cartoon villain from the 60's.
Which, fine whatever- he digs the rave scene... but then he has the brilliant idea of being famous (for nothing) and making techno tunes and putting his drab voice over it.

Here's a music video to illustrate.

(Eyelash Curlers and Butcher Knives)

The music itself sounds like it took 20 minutes in pro-tools and looped the voice over with a bit of reverb and synth pad.

The lyrics- devoid of any structure and meaning.

Come on man, if you're gonna be a cross-dressing weirdo, do it correctly!

(Eddie Izzard)

or even if you're gonna do techno, do it fucking right!

Maybe I'm just fucked in the head.
Maybe he IS talented and I'm the dumb one.
Who knows.

NOW LET'S SNORT SOME COKE!

- Josh

The Death Of A Close Friend

2008-05-20T11:34:00.000-07:00

Not but one hour ago- my little buddy died- my year old iPod; Romper. I gave it the nickname romper from all of the shit I've done to it.

In it's short, one year lifespan it endured washing machines, ponds, being thrown a nice amount of yards to hit someone in the back, being thrown against a wall, and many other atrocities known to man.

That dammed iPod has been through more than a Vietnam refugee turned street walking hooker.

I bought it about a week before I moved to Ohio, and it's been through quite a bit since.

The worst part was that it had my music on there. I DID have most of the music backed up on the computer, but there were a few single songs that took me forever to find that are lost forever.

Now it just means I actually have to spend money and buy a new one.

(Also; check out "Matt's Blog" under friends, it's a work in progress but I'm sure that he'd enjoy more people reading it.)

- Josh

In Memory 2008.

The Josh Bennett Bible, Book Two: Exodus

2008-05-20T07:40:00.000-07:00

So in continuation of my everlasting damnation for all of eternity, I've produced a second book, in my "bible rewrites". You can read the first one, here.

Book Two, Exodus:

These Egyptian motherfuckers named the Hebrews were paying off a debt to some nigga from some coke he gave them three years ago at a bustop- while waitin' to go to the Piggly Wiggly and cash in their food stamps. Of course this nigga took the food stamps, he wanted some fucking Kool-Aid. So, after G heard his Hebrew bitches was in trouble, he sent this mystical-superhero motherfucker named Moses to help free the Hebrews. Moses went all Godfather Part I on them, and asked those bitches if they wanna let them go- these Egyptians needed the Hebrews to grow and harvest their weed- so they wouldn't let them go.

So big G sent down some apocalyptic shit down on Eygpt, you know- giant fucking birds and shit. The Egyptians let the Hebrews go, and big G was like "ight, all you fucking Hebrew honeys and shit- you motherfuckers can have Israel, if you can make your silly asses to it". The Hebrews crossed through the desert, and big G was pissin' water for them down there. Moses met up with G for payment at a motherfucking mountain, and big G gave Moses laws for his people. So Moses made a giant motherfucking tee-pee and he and his other bitches would serve Big G.

(Going to hell)

- Josh

Another day wasted

2008-05-19T12:27:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting around right now, listening to Black Sabbath's record "Paranoid"-

One of the first, and BEST heavy metal albums to date.
Ozzy's voice is rather fluid and experimental in the record.
It actually feels like a precursor to post-rock in many of the ambient sounding aspects.

I've been thinking a lot lately.
Bunches of stuff actually.
But my blog is a big part of it.
I've been reading over my old posts and just seeing how I don't really like them, I know why I don't- but I need to learn to fix it. I have a HUGE problem with editing, and it often impacts the writing to make it be read trashy and quickly done.

I know it's a simple journal, but I want to be proud of it.
For some reason I just can't really dig anything about my blog, I'm actually thinking about a HUGE overhaul of it.
Changing name, layout, everything.
Who knows, but as the events unfold- I'll tell you cats.

set me down

2008-05-17T09:12:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon everyone.
It's about 12:30 here on Saturday.
Listening to "The Fall Of Troy", amazing band.

So... yesterday was surely out there.
I went up to the park around 4 and then Charlie showed up.
I hung with him for a bit, then went to Arby's for some food.
After that I headed back up to the park.
Matt was there, and Chris was on his way up.

Chris gets there, and then out of nowhere- Fred shows up.
We're all having fun chilling out, then we decide to head to Circle K.

We get to Circle K.
Charlie, Mike Kochman, and Chris go inside while Matt, Fred, and I all hang out.
I'm standing by this guys truck when he walks out (with a cast on) and tells me to get away from his truck. I step away and say sorry, and Matt says something (I can't quite remember what) and this guy starts getting in Matt's face asking him if he wants to fight. I start yelling at the guy to just go pay for his shit and leave.
He's still starting with Matt (I make fun of Matt all the time, but I'd defend him always). Then I start getting in this guys face telling him to go pay for his shit and leave (he walked out while he was in line with his items).

He comes back out, then starts saying shit like "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM", I call him an asshole and that he should just leave. He asks if we wanna gangfight- when Chris walks out...

Chris walks straight up and starts getting in this guys face.
We keep bitching at the guy and eventually a Circle K employee walks out and tells him to leave, he gets in his truck and leaves.
Even while he's pulling away, he's talking shit- still saying stuff like "I'll fucking kill you!".

We get back to the park and regale the tale, and people were laughing hysterically.
Someone there had alcohol and we had been drinking a bit anyways.

So, bit later on- I just pull my shorts down, and this guy in the skatepark comes near me and this is what went down here:

Guy: Pull your shorts up or I'll punch you in the fucking face.
Me: No you won't.
Guy: Watch me.
Me: Dude, how old are you?
Guy: 19
Me: Exactly dude, I'm 17- lay a hand on me and I'll have you arrested for assault.
Guy: I'm not afraid to go back to prison.
Me: Do you WANT to go back to prison?
Guy: I don't care.
Me: You're avoiding the question, we both know you won't hit me. So, relax.

A little later... Chris and Chaney get naked and skateboard- funniest shit of my life, while I'm strolling around the park pretty much nude myself.
It was a fun night.

- Josh

Here's to life.

2008-05-16T06:15:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone.

It's 9:24 AM right now, and I'm basically just chilling out.
Listening to "Bandits of the Acoustic Revolution" EP "Call to Arms".

It's pretty good so far.
If you're a fan of Thomas Kalnoky's other projects (EARLY Catch 22, Streetlight Manifesto), then I'd recommend checking it out.

So- yesterday was actually quite boring.
Ambulance was called because someone crashed on their bike, and caught his stomach skin in between the sprocket and the chain.

I looked at the wound, and it looked kind of like a virgin's vagina.
Messed up shit.

He refused to get in the ambulance when someone called, and started running away from the park.
A few people got him and brought him back.

I ended up hanging out with MKizzle for a bit, grabbing some pies at McDonalds.
It was an alright day.
I just feel like something is missing.

I don't know.

- Josh

The Nutty Veteran.

2008-05-15T06:02:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone.
It's 9:37, and I'm just sitting around listening to The Mars Volta, feeling alright. Just bored.
Speaking of music, there are two albums coming in June that are pants-creamingly worthy of ejaculating into an 8 year olds hair.

1. Beck - Modern Guilt

Produced by the GREAT Dj Dangermouse, and a track with Cat Power- a first Beck collaboration.

2. RANCID - Untitled (as of now)

First album since 2003's Indestructible.

Two great bands/artists, two (hopefully) amazing records.

So, if you read the news yesterday- John Edwards FULLY backs up Barack Obama. This is good news to me, it means that it's over for Hillary Cunton, and it's between Obama and McCain. I don't think McCain should be allowed in office. We've had the same nutty Republican in office for the past 8 years, the last thing we need is another one. McCain is just a fucking nut, and he should probably just be put down. I think that it's a turn for us Liberals to get a nice chance, Bill Clinton may have fucked a girl in office, but- at least he didn't fuck a country like Bush.

My cousin (and presumably A LOT of my family) is Republican and she's pro-McCain... it's the religion. She's a rather religious person, and I think that's what does it.

You become a religious zealot- you become a nutter who wants another senile nutter in office.

Come on- we need to get the fuck out of this war and rebuild our economy.

THAT'S IT.

WE ARE GOING TO BE BOUGHT BY CHINA AT THIS RATE.

I'd rather actually have Clinton in office than McCain any day.

It's just too bad there isn't any fellows like John F. Kennedy around today (minus the whole being killed thing), he did a good job! It's assholes like the Bush Boys who are fucking this company, with their own agenda- and they've fucked the entire Republican party enough for me to say I can't trust a Republican politician.

Oh well, good times.

- Josh.

Hippies, Cops, and Circle K.

2008-05-13T19:44:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday was a bit out there.
I bit surreal if you will.
I'm not gonna go into EVERYTHING, just the big stuff that happened- in order of when it happened.

I got to the park around 5:30 or so, and hung around by the side a warehouse that shades over a part of the park. There were like 20 of us, we were all talking, joking, playing around, you know- being kids.

Then... I have the smart idea of running up to a bench, jumping ON the bench and then running along the top of it that people lean their backs against... in flip-flops. So, I do it, and... I make it three steps before My one leg goes under and in between a metal bar, I smack my balls and nail the side of my face (which my jaw now keeps popping over). While I was still just laying there on the bench in the position I fell- I heard silence... no one was laughing, no one was like "are you alright?!", so... I roll over and just start laughing... and then the roar of laughter from them begins. It was fun, well... looking back now, it was VERY dumb... but NOT the most immature thing I did yesterday.

Later on I was sitting at a bench with Ryan, Devin, Katie, Chris, and Charlie... when the old hippie walked up. He was wearing a biker helmet, a leather jacket, 30 bracelets, and a huge fu-man-chu... the epitome of weird. He walks up and starts talking to us about MP3 players, and then Charlie and Chris leave to go back skating... lucky bastards. We're all just sitting out there talking to him, and he's telling us these stories... and then he mentions that he's a "federal agent", and "he's being watched", like a billion times. He told us he saw the Kennedy assassination, and that he knows who it was... yeah, the guy is a nutter. We're still just talking to him, and he was telling us all this shit about being a pilot, and being told to run for President, and being the second most-powerful person in the country... the guy was insane. He was straight up nuts. He eventually leaves, after telling us more about being a federal agent, and running for President.

After the old-hippie left, we all decided to go to Circle K. So Chris, Charlie, Ryan, Devin and myself all head out that way. We get there, I go in- buy my shit and talk to Flatland Chris (amazing biker) and Tommy on the left side where the ramp is that they load food into. The others show up, so we're just hanging out... when the lady comes and tells us to get off of the property because "we're loitering", we argue and say we're just hanging out- and we keep just messing around while one of us argues with her.

Charlie has the bright idea of going next door (which was 4 steps away) and sitting on THEIR stoop. I go over, then so do Tommy and Chris. Ryan and Devin had already left to get a ride. So, the lady is still arguing with us, even though we're not on THEIR property anymore. I then note that some of HER friends are standing out in front and tell her it's bullshit, and then she says "you guys were in the dark over there", which is complete and utter bullshit. She just doesn't want us standing around. So I argue, Chris argues, Charlie argues, just because it's bullshit. We weren't hurting anyone, we were being relatively quiet actually, we were having fun hanging out and that's it. Well, another worker comes out and says they've called the police. We all kind of stand around, and then I start getting into a fight with some twat in a white shirt who calls me immature, and to just act my age, his friend pulls up... and he yells to his friend in the car to kick our asses... and it's none other... than one of Charlie's friends. What a fucking polo-wearing-twat-motherfucker. So, after arguing a bit with the people, I tell Flatland Chris the cops are on the way while he's on the phone, I hear him mention that "yeah, it seems like a riots starting to break out", and the he says bye and leaves.

Tommy and I bail before the cops show up.

I got home and talked to Charlie and he said that they just fought with the cops when the cops came up too.
All they did was take their names and let them go.
I still wanted to avoid that though.

Personally; I found it rather offensive that we were being told to leave, but some twats still were allowed to hang out. If those guys weren't hanging out there... then I would've left, but I'm all for affirmative action.

- Josh.

The Josh Bennett Bible, Book One: Genesis

2008-05-13T07:34:00.000-07:00

In an effort to further my seat into the depths of hell, I've embarked on a new experiment.
I'm re-writing the bible.
I'm doing EVERY book of the bible, and it'll just be summaries- nothing huge and extensive, probably paragraph or two at most.
Setting it in modern day, including sex scenes, gun fights, super-heroes, gangsters, polar bears, and Al Gore.
Still not sure how often they'll be posted (pending me NOT being deleted from Blogger for it), but enjoy.

Book One, Genesis:

So in the beginning there was this intense motherfucker named God, his homies called him G though. He would fuck bitches up left and right. He was rolling in the money so much- he wanted to build himself an entire compound, make it as big as fucking planet, hire Cubans to take care of it- fucking intense motherfucking shit. G made it all pretty and shit. Then he had two of his niggs come down from South Central to chill out, but then they started stealing and eating all of his shit. G loves his fucking apples, and he wasn't gonna stand for that shit. So G started being an major asshole, and decided to just leave the place, but leave them there to teach the bitches a lesson. It was this tight honey named Eve, and this mafiaoso motherfucker named Adam. They fucked like rabbits forever. So, big G came back one day and was like "Aight Bitches, you're staying here- but my homie Jesus is gonna be here one day to fuck you up", so- Adam and Eve kept fucking, and so did their kids. Shit was starting out REAL tight, and REALLY fucked up.

- Josh.

You can't be what you were

2008-05-13T06:25:00.000-07:00

Good morning friends.
It's 9:22 AM right now, and I'm sitting around... not doing much, listening to Fugazi's first album "13 songs", so far so good. Whenever you put a legend like Ian Mackaye in a band though, how could it be bad?

He was one of the first pioneers of the Straight-Edge movement, while still remaining to be insane beyond belief. When he played with Minor Threat, he would stop playing a set when kids started moshing- telling them that it's pointless violence and is taking away the integrity of the music.

I'm not really a straight-edge, I just don't really care.

You wanna do drugs, drink, and smoke? Go ahead, be my guest- but fuck off if you think you're coming near me.

It's a very subversive and often evasive subject that can be stricken to be all too monosyllabic.

I think that drinking, drugs, smoking, etc... they're all a part of a problem with ones-self, that has yet to be realized, a certain fear or disbelief that has yet to be expressed fully.

Maybe I'm wrong- maybe they just do it because it's cool, I'm SURE there are people who just smoke pot to be high, but I have to think that sometimes theres a person doing drugs because they're escaping something.

To be honest- I don't even blame people who go off to do drugs, I wish I could now. I know it's not me though.

I have yet to, and will never change because of people I'm surrounded by.

- Josh

Blind Moving

2008-05-12T12:57:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon all.
It's 3:56 PM and I'm sitting here listening to Gnarls Barkley.

I'm feeling a bit down today.
Just a multitude of things building up in my head.

The worst one is by far how many of the people in my life are changing right in front of me, and there isn't shit I can do to sway them.

I think it affects me because I've been the same person for quite a while.
I know it's their life, and it's none of my business, but I hate the idea of someone changing into something worse, and I'm a terrible person- I can see when someone else is being terrible.

One of my friends snorted Vicodin the other night, and they said it's the greatest feeling in the universe. I was actually spiked to try it again, but- then I realized that it's a very silly thing to do.

Fuck it though.

All of my friends are doing exactly what I thought they would.

Moving on to do "their own thing", whatever that may be, and probably exhuming themselves from me.

Oh well.

I still got the Frizz, Clay, and the Daan though.

- Josh

I own 14 scales

2008-05-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

Good evening readers.
It's 9:49 PM, and I'm chilling out... listening to the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.

I think that movie should be a must-watch for ALL people.

It's boderline epic.

People consider The Oddessy by Homer to be an Epic, well I think Pulp Fiction should be considered an epic, and I know very few people who would disagree with me.

Whatever Tarantino was smoking during Pulp Fiction, he needs more of it.
I'm at the point to where I can memorize this speech from the movie:

Jules: So, there's this passage I got memorized... Ezekiel 25:17, The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

I love that movie more than my family.

On to that.

So, Friday I went out to lunch with my Aunt Beth, Cousin Sarah, and Grandma.

We hit up Olive Garden (not my idea, but it was alright).

Oh don't worry, I did something dumb, as I always do.

About midway through the meal, I stood up and said "I gotta pee"

my ultra-conservative Aunt freaked and said "that's really gross"

my grandmother corrected me and said "restroom"

so I felt dumb and walked off.
It had been my first time at this one so I just walked from one end (Past all walls and doors) and got lost, eventually I just halted off after seeing a bunch of employees staring at me, randomly walking around.

We left there and headed to the mall.
I kind of just walked around, ready to piss myself for about 2 hours until I just screamed "AHHHHHHHH BLADDER SNAKES" and ran to the bathroom at full force.

I picked up some new flip-flops.
Good times.

- Josh.

In a cold-ass fashion

2008-05-09T16:42:00.000-07:00

Good evening everyone, it's 7:41 PM on my watch and I just got home a few minutes ago.

I'm... feeling pretty depressed.

I have for the past day or two.
Something in my head just triggered, and I feel like it's all pointless.

I just don't want to be here anymore (not living, just... Ohio), I think It'd be better if I headed back to Arizona.

The past two days- the people I'm normally excited to see... I just didn't WANT to see them at all. Charlie and Chris came in from their town today and we usually kick it and have fun, and I usually get pumped when they show up... but I was just bummed, not because they came... but I just don't want to see anyone.

The past two days... I realized that there would only be a maximum of five people I'd miss if I were to move away (Clay, Fred, Amber, Lauren, and someone else). Those people are the only reason I'm still here, if I didn't have them- I'd move in an heartbeat.

I can't think of anything I want to stay here for anymore.
I don't think anyone would miss me after a week.
Really.

Who knows, maybe I'll just go back.

- Josh

"My Family"

2008-05-09T05:57:00.001-07:00

So, as many people read this blog know... I'm... a little weird, and out there. People have asked me "How did you get so fucked up?", and the easiest way to explain it... is my family.

Most of my imediate family is twisted like me (humorwise), with the exception of two- my Aunt Beth, and my Aunt Amy.

I'll go into a bit of detail on each, just as a glimpse.

1. My Aunt Beth.

My aunt Beth and her family are hardcore Christians who homeschool their children, drive GM trucks, and hunt at a consistent basis.

Three or four things I'm highly opposed to.

Christianity is a slippery slope of tyranny that you have to be careful with, because when people like the WBC get near it- they give the rest of you Christians a bad name, but this is a subject for another blog.

Homeschooling your children because you're afraid of them getting social interaction and experiencing the world out there is very painful and it'll probably make the two kids socially awkward down the line.

GM and it's affiliates pollute the air constantly and it bothers the shit out of me.

Hunting is destroying ANIMALS. When you try to argue this point with a person they say "Well, they're over-polluted, we have to keep their population down"... FUCK YOU. Humans are over-populated, get the fuck off of your fat wife and we won't need to hunt a poor animal, fucking masochistic-neo-psychopaths.

So those are just some of the things I argue with THEM about. I find it funny that I'm the "dumb one" in my family... but I think I have more logic than all of them, oh well.

2. My Aunt Amy

Ah, this side of the family. My aunt Amy is essentially fucking her kids up for life. Her husband (my uncle Bill) raises their kids in a very pseudo-militaristic atmosphere. He makes the two boys play football, and their daughter play softball... The best part is, one of the sons and the daughter want to play Soccer, and he fucking hates it.

He's SO anti-soccer that it's just funny. He calls it a "bitch sport", for "girls"- yeah, because a bunch of guys huddled together touching balls isn't gay.

Those kids are pushed too hard in sports, and not enough in academics- let them be smart, and play the sport they want to play. Soccer is fun, it's easy to pick up, and anyone can do it (even just for fun).

I'm forced to like my family, but I've kind of picked up how NOT to raise a family through these people.

Like me? I'll NEVER raise my kids around religion, it's too complicated, and if I do raise them around religion- it'll be Buddhism.

But don't get me wrong, I love my family beyond belief, but... we're all flawed, and you can often learn from other peoples' flaws. Like me? I'm the biggest procrastinator you'll ever meet, and I can be quite shy at times.

Is your family fucked?

- Josh

Shining here.

2008-05-07T06:07:00.000-07:00

Good morning folks,

It's 9:07 AM here, and I'm chilling out- listening to The Slackers; which I never really liked, but it turns out I just never really gave them a chance.

Ah yesterday.

It was... well, I'll give you the headlines (in a time oriented order):

3:00 PM - Left the house and I saw Sam driving by, she picked me up and dropped me off at the park as Nolan was pulling in with his truck.

5:00 PM - Charlee showed up, and we talked for a bit.

5:30 - Charlee, Charlie, Cameron, and I- walked to Circle K; when Chris Wallum showed up.

7:00 PM - I decided to pull the best prank EVER.

For some reason, everyone was just throwing rocks. Charlie and Chris were in the skatepark, and they were bitching (which I was one of the only ones not really throwing rocks).

Well- here's what happened:

Dom: Fuck you Bennett!
Cam: Yeah, fuck you!
Me: Hey- Dom can make fun of me, you can't!
Cam: Why? Because he's black?!
Me: No, because he doesn't suck at life (kiddish, I know, I did it on purpose).
Cam: Well, at least I'm not a dropout! (referring to ECOT being the dropouts last chance to graduate).
Me: What the fuck?! Fuck you!

And I stormed away. EVERYONE thought I was serious. Everyone thought I was boiling with rage, and pissed off. It was GREAT. A few even came up and asked if everything was cool, god it was fantastic.

Well, I get home and I IM Cameron and just say "That was the best prank... EVER", he was surprised I wasn't pissed, fuck it was great.

I can't do those pranks too often though, or get the rage I had in my body like that.
It was fantastic.

Cut the crap

2008-05-04T13:33:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon readers, tis I- Josh of Bennett!

So, I ended up NOT posting last night like I intended, so my apologies to anyone who looked forward to that (pun). So, two things are on my mind right now- but I have to ignore the one until later (because it deals with religion, and it'll be quite lengthy, and therefore deserves it's own post).

To the story.

I was sitting at a picnic table outside the skatepark with Cameron, Katie, Trevor, Casey (Trevor's girlfriend), and someone I didn't know.

For those readers that don't know me personally, Trevor is a loud-mouth who often says the dumbest shit in the universe.

We were all sitting at the table when Trevor points to a name on the table "Katlyn", the name of my good friend.

He goes "who spells their name that way?"

Katie says "Well, she does." (Katie is one of Katlyn's best friend)

Trevor then retorts "Well, she's a bitch and I don't like her."

That was the opening of an argument I started.... just keep reading:

Me: Yeah, you didn't really need to say that. She's my friend.

Trevor: I don't care.

Me: Alright man, I'm just saying- she's one of my friends and It's really unnecessary to talk shit about a person in front of their friends.

Trevor: Well, whatever- I'll say what I want.

By this time; Cameron had shown me something on his phone that was a part of the argument, and Katie was watching intently and appeared to be a mite scared, and Trevor and I are screaming across the table at each other.

So, the argument continues;

Casey: Yeah, let's just yell, that's manly and that'll solve all the problems.

Me: I'm just saying- don't talk shit about a person in front of their friends.

(Cameron has now thrown his keys at Trevor and hit him in the chest, hard).

So, the argument continues until Trevor goes into defending the first amendment when I'm ready to jump over the table and punch him in the fucking face; Cameron interjects and says he and I should go for a walk before I kill Trevor.

Cam and I leave, walk around- come back, and I feel fine.

I just thought it was really dumb and quite immature to just talk shit about a person in front of their friends, it may not be a big deal to you- but that's a pretty coward move. If I have a problem with a person- I tell them, and I say it to their face, or I just say "Yeah, I'm not really cool with them", or "I don't really get along with them", I don't get descriptive and call them a bitch.

It was just dumb bullshit to me- don't be such a fucking coward, and don't stand up for your First Amendment.

Oh well.
Forgive and forget.

- Josh.

Poor managing skills.

2008-05-03T14:24:00.000-07:00

Good (early) evening friends,

It's me- Josh.

I'm listening to "Common" right now, and thinking about a few things.

As for today, probably nothing will happen. I'll go to the park, and find that no one else is there, which will delight me, and discomfort me. I'll sit on a bench and probably come home. After I come home, I'll sit online for the remainder of the night, whoring myself to the Myspace audience.

Good times.

SO- I've realized that I have VERY poor managing skills with my blog.

I want to make the "I Hate Everything" into a running series on here, but I lack the initiative to keep up with some/any schedule. I just write when I feel like it, and I can't really control that.

I also haven't posted ANY album reviews in quite a while, but I think I might start doing that again.

Odds are, later tonight I'll write a bit lengthier post detailing schedules and stuff, and hopefully I'll stick to the schedule.

Mr. Moustache

2008-05-02T07:48:00.000-07:00

Good morning friends and readers,

I woke up this morning at 6 or so- and it was actually nice and bright out, I fell back asleep and woke up around 9AM and it was all dark and shabby.

I don't really mind it though, I've got some music going, I'll feel good and preoccupy myself today. I'm actually listening to "The Mars Volta", good fucking band.

I'm not really a psychedelic fan, but TMV is a great band in my opinion. They know how to write a groovy album, I'd even go as far to say that they are the modern day Pink Floyd (though Pink Floyd is still playing, but it's not THE Pink Floyd, to me at least).

So yesterday was groovy for two reasons.

1. I'm going with George (and possibly/probably Lauren) to see RANCID in Michigan, so that's gonna be the highlight of my lifetime.

2. My friend Adam got into an altercation with some guy and the cops showed up at the park.

Adam was on his bike and he was riding back up to the skate park, and in town there is this gravel path, about 10 ft. wide that stretches from one parking lot to the other, and in between the two there is the playground, concession stand, skate park, and some other things. Adam was riding his bike through these orange cones that were placed near the concession stand when a guy grabs him by the handlebars of his bike, and as many people would- Adam yelled at the guy.

Adam started cursing at the guy, and the guy threatened to kick Adam's ass. Adam is a skinny, scrawny 16 year old kid.

The guy had a moustache and he was well into his 30's.... It wouldn't have exactly been a fair fight.

Well, Adam got away and Mr. Moustache called the cops. When the cops came they took Adam's name down, and went off to another cop car- that's right, TWO COP CARS showed up here to scare a little kid.

Adam, Frankie, and I went down to where the cop was to tell him that the guy threatened to fight Adam and this is what went down.

(We walked up to the officers who were saying "none of these damn kids respect anything")

Adam: Hey, I forget to add in- He threatened to kick my ass.
Mr. Moustache: Well you were mfing me.
Cop: He has the right to defend himself just as you do.
Me: So this is the legal system, haha.

We walk away and Adam leaves a bit later. Frankie and I are walking by the stand when Mr. Moustache calls us over, he talks to us and then he adds in at the end:

Tell your friend when he's 18 to come back here and I'll rip him apart and throw him in the dumpster.

We told Adam, and last I heard- his mom is pressing charges.
Act like an asshole, get treated like an asshole.

Good times, I guess.

- Josh

Josh Bennett hates EVERYTHING.

2008-05-01T07:38:00.000-07:00

Good morning dear readers- tis I!

I'm sitting around right now, kind of ignoring my world studies class on the other window.
I was just listening to Jim Norton's "Monster Rain" special, the guy is just insane and hilarious.

He talks about getting blown by a tranny, and then deciding just to finish in his mouth anyways.

Good stuff.

He's not one of those hack-ass comedians like Carlos Mencia, or Dane Cook.

Fuck do I hate those two.

Those two are worse than Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, and Bill Engvall all at once.

(I like Ron White, he's a drunk... I relate)

I can think of NO reason why anyone finds Dane Cook funny.
He's a hack, he's in it for the money, that's it!

I mean why would you watch Dane Cook when you have Louis CK, Patton Oswald, Nick Swardson, Bob Saget, Demetri Martin Bill Hicks, Steve Martin, Richard Pryor, Lenny Bruce, Brian Poeshn, Mike Birbiglia, Jim Norton, Mitch Hedburg, Eddie Izzard, Billy Connolly, and so many others.

I got into many arguments with Christina (the ex-girlfriend/friend) about her love of Dane Cook, and every it came up that she liked him... a little part of me died inside, fucking seriously.

Alright, come on- Eddie Izzard is the fucking man. He's a cross-dressing British guy who talks about greek mythology in his act... It's just fucking genius.

Just because they play it on Comedy Central... it doesn't mean it's always good!

I just fucking hate the guy, he even stole material from one of the greatest around now; Louis CK.

Watch below:

Not enough? What about Demetri Martin?

How about Steve Martin?

His voice even makes me cringe.
I'm serious, he's the biggest hack out there.

It's only 14 - 20 year old girls, and guys who've never heard REAL comedy.
Watch the following clip and tell me if you laugh, AT ALL.

God I hate him.

Here's a clip for redemption.
Everyone- the great Billy Connolly

A legend, a serious legend.

In ten years- no one will remember Dane Cook, stupid entertainment for stupid people as far as I'm concerned.

- Josh.

Myspace.

2008-04-30T07:40:00.000-07:00

Good morning loyal readers,

Right now, I'm listening to "The Eternal Cowboy" by Against Me!, which I really dig some folk punk (Defiance Ohio, This Bike is A Pipe Bomb, etc), and there's a something small on my mind.

Myspace.

I have a myspace, I use my myspace... but I could live without it.

I know people who ONLY VISIT myspace.
It's completely retarded, really.

Myspace is in fact a poor excuse for a social life.

There is nothing redeeming about myspace... but we all fucking use it. It's just a huge popularity contest, which is fucking true- and I can't see why people take it seriously.

No one probably even knows that Myspace was sold two or three years ago to a Fox company, and they use it as their biggest form of advertisement to the youth.

I dig myspace because it gives me a locale to advertise my blog, and keep in touch with friends and stuff that I normally don't.

Otherwise... fucking take my myspace.
There's a bunch of people who have my password (Daan, Christina, Cameron, etc) and I could give a fuck less what they do as long as they don't start commenting and bitching other people out with me account, and I highly doubt they would.

The people who use those add sites to get more friends are the most pathetic of them all.
How narcissistic and pathetic are you?!

You really need clarification by having 21245 friends?!

Get a life for Christ's sake!!!

You're the reason for AIDS in North America, how does that make you feel Myspace-whores?

It's a website.
a motherfucking website that took 3 years to put in the ability to have a photo album, what kind of procrastination is that shit?

GET THE FUCK OFF OF YOUR ASS AND GO OUTSIDE!

Feel the air, that stuff, that scary, scary stuff.
I know!
You're afraid to, but do it.

Fuck your myspace in the ass.

mine too.

fucking myspace.

Yes, I'm a self-loather, what about it?

We're screwed

2008-04-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

Well- as promised in my previous post... I've found something to bitch about.

If you are a member of my generation (15 to 19 or so), then you MAY be a part of the generation.

Essentially- I believe we're living in a generation of loss.

There is a large percentage of this generation that are uncultured, dumb, and refused to learn- and it's fucking pathetic.

We live in a time when we're being bombarded with advertisements, and terrible mindless television shows.

Shows like "The Hills", "Laguna Beach", "American Idol", and "A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila" are just some of the mindless, drab bullshit that's around.

It's fucking pathetic to me- how can people (even my own age) just stroll around the fucking earth getting into this bullshit?!

People no longer read, they no longer speak- they text and IM.
What the fuck.

Even before I lost my phone I hardly texted- it's just lame to me.

How can people honestly find anything worth living for in this goddamn generation- seriously; I'd rather cut off my own balls, blend them, drink them, then eat my own shit than watch Laguna Beach or the hills and believe it be entertaining.

Seriously; how can you even find this interesting?!

"lyke omg, it was soooo reel and lyke sericaly idk wat that guy iz bitchen b0ut itz soooooooooooooooo awwsume"

FUCK YOU.

JESUS CHRIST, IT'S MINDLESS BULLSHIT- FOR MINDLESS IDIOTS.

Those retards will NEVER know who Miles Davis was, or Xenophon (to be fair, not many people have heard of him), Homer, or realize what it's like to be a human.

They are the products of their own demise.

The brain-deaf, uber-fucked generation that they are leading deserves to be led into gas chambers and knocked the fuck out.

What are they contributing to society? NOTHING.

Same with the people who watch EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of American Idol- are you aware more people voted in ONE EPISODE of American Idol than the amount of people that voted in 2004?!

That's pathetic, it's a television show for fucks sake- not even an entertaining one at that, It's a fucking karaoke contest for gods sake. Would you really go to your local bar and watch the tipsy office secretary sing Johnny Cash's "Ring Of Fire"? No, well then why would you watch American Idol (given the first weeks are funny with pathetic people trying, after that... It's useless).

All of these reality dating shows are all doing the same thing... making people feel like shit, and dumbing them down. These don't provide any real entertainment; I could give a fuck less about Bret Michaels getting a wife, just as long as he stops making that fucking music.

Seriously- it's dumb entertainment, for mindless people.

Sure- I may be venting my anger, and I may just as useless as them... but at least I can think for myself, and I can point out Bosnia on a map... That's one thing they can't.

- Josh.

Let's give it up

2008-04-29T07:04:00.000-07:00

So, It's 10:03 AM right now, and as usual... here I sit.

If you've read my previous entry, then you'll realize why I feel dumb.

My blog is quickly becoming centered in on why I have shitty days, which REALLY isn't what I want. It's who I am, but it's really not what I want on my blog. Albeit this is MY journal... I don't really intend everyone to know I have a lot of personal conflicts with myself and my own head- because I'm quite sure that 3/4 of you don't want to know about my problems, which I don't blame you.

So- hopefully, I can stop writing down everything I feel shitty about and keep it off of here... but SOMETIMES they do make genuinely awesome stories- but some make me sound like a tool.

It seems like I seem to get more hits and more comments and such when I post a provocative post a blog about things I hate, and the observations I encounter... so from now on I'm gonna try to find more of the things that piss me off, and write about that- instead of things in my personal life.

So, as this blog closes- rest assured... unless I have a genuinely good story about my day... It won't be posted, nor will my blogs about people in my life.

- Josh.

An insight to my brain.

2008-04-28T14:27:00.000-07:00

So, I think we ALL know I have an anger problem... and this following blog is proof of it.
I did something dumb earlier today, that I HIGHLY regret- and I'm hoping to move on from, and just forget and this is pretty much what was going through my head during the time, so it's in first person view.

Enjoy my unstable brain.

what the fuck is your problem, Josh.
Why can't you just quit.
Give the bullshit up, fucking seriously.
Why do you keep up this fucking retarded crap?
What's your fucking problem. Why are you so fucking dumb.
Just... stop, stop fucking caring.
Just fucking die, goddammit man.
What the fuck is your problem?
Just pretend ****** doesn't exist, why can't you do that?
Why can't you just let *** go, seriously.
You're only fucking yourself, just admit it- you don't care, you don't... you can't. So fucking quit.
Just fucking quit.
Why would you even think about that? Why would you even consider ****** ******? It WON'T WORK, Not in a billion fucking years- so quit, just fucking quit.
What's your goddamn malfunction?!
*** doesn't actually give a fuck anyways- just cut the bullshit man. ****** doesn't care that way, goddamn.
FUCK ME!

So.... welcome to my world.

Also; I'm NOT suicidal- I'm just using "fucking die" as an expression.
Seriously, I'm not that dumb.

- Josh.

Oodles of Oodles.

2008-04-28T09:47:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon everyone, I hope you guys are digging being back into the regular groove.

It's 12:45 PM right now, and I'm sitting here listening to De La Soul's album "De La Soul Is Dead", so far it's pretty cool stuff.

It's a pretty gloomy, chilly day today.

I was just sitting around thinking about what I want to do with my life.
Maybe I'm just seeming overly sentimental or pushing the future before it's happened... but It's hard to not think about stuff like that.

I've kind of narrowed it down what I'd like to do with my life.

Become a writer and director and make movies.
Work in radio
Write for magazines
Become a music producer

Of course- I kind of want to each of those equally, but truthfully... I can probably only achieve the following:

Work in radio
Write for magazines

I'd REALLY love to be a writer and write movies... I already write shorts, and I've got tons of pages of just ideas, but I'm not sure if they'd ever ACTUALLY develop into anything.

Working in radio is a venture, but a very time-consuming, shit-paying venture- especially with the transition of celestial radio to satellite radio.

Working for a magazine would include me attending college and getting a degree in creative writing and English as my major... so either way I'm fucked.

It's hard to say, I just think about shit like this all the time.
I know what I want to be, and I know I have my friends who support me- but I don't think I can do any of it.

It's not LOW self-esteem, it's NO self-esteem.

- Josh

The Sum

2008-04-27T20:24:00.000-07:00

Hello dear readers.

Right now it's 11:22 PM, and I'm sitting here listening to "Typical Cats", some groovy Jazz-oriented rap.

Nothing TOO interesting happened today, at all.
Hung around with Katlyn, Katie, Frankie, and a few other cats for the most part (when I wasn't home at least).

I'm kind of hyped up right now from Ice-Cream, and it's giving me a headache.

While I was eating my ice cream, I was watching "The Adam Carolla Project", which starred none other than... Adam Carolla.

It was a reality show about him buying his childhood home and renovating it from scratch with his own crew of misfits. It was actually really good, but it's sad it didn't make it to another season.

Television is seriously the most fucked up venture out there.

It seems that ALL of the best TV shows get canceled before their time is truly up.

I fucking hate television for that purpose- some of the most well-written, well-acted shows are replaced with retard prone things like "The Hills".

Some could argue that terrible shows are canceled... but what about Arrested Development, Lucky Louie, Clerks: The Animated Series, Firefly, X-Files (though it lasted a good 9 years), and Twin Peaks... Honestly, watch this clip from the pilot of Lucky Louie and tell me that it's not fucking great.

It was SUCH a great show, but it literally only lasted 12 episodes.

Maybe I'm alone- but I think the world could use sitcoms like Lucky Louie.

Lucky Louie was essentially a sitcom about Louis C.K. (a comedian, FUCKING hilarious). It was like Seinfeld for the 21st century.

I honestly think that the TV execs are on crank 98 percent of the time... Honestly, would you EVER cancel Twin Peaks?!

It's probably one of my favorite shows, EVER. It was done by David Lynch... who is just insane. He loves to confuse the audience. It's my type of thing.

Other than my hatred of the TV boards... not much is going on.

I believe I'm going to go pee... and then listen to the Lazlow show.

- Josh

Puppet.

2008-04-26T18:12:00.000-07:00

Good evening friends,

It's 9:11 PM, and here I sit- listening to the new Atmosphere record, some cool shit.

So- the past two days have been completely shitty for me, and I've been bummed pretty much the entire time.
I'm not gonna go into detail COMPLETELY, but I'll just go for some standout things.

1.

I was sitting in a car last night, talking to a friend... and I kind of just leaned over and kissed her.
STUPID, STUPID Josh. Why the fuck would I do that?

Goddamn I must be retarded.
I don't like her, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me- besides, I think she has some fling going on with some guy... GODDAMN why am I so awkward and random.

FUCK.

I seriously hated myself last night, and all of today for doing that.

I told her I didn't know why I did it, and she kind of just laughed, I've talked to her since and told her I feel like a total tool, but she told me not to worry about it... but that's fucking difficult.

I still feel dumb, ahhhhhhh.
There isn't shit I can do about it either.

2.

So- I went to a bonfire with Cameron last night, it was for his friend Kevin who is in the Marines.
We get there, get out, and... It's ALL scene kids I've never met (with the exception of Johnny, Colin, Richie and Rikki), so I kind of sit there and I get into a bit of a conversation with Richie and Rikki.

Rikki: What's wrong Josh?
Me: Uhh... Nothing really.
Rikki: A bit out of your element?
Me: Just a little
Richie: Yeah, There's kids wearing Despised Icon hoodies and Fuck You jersey's and your just sitting there with your hat thinking I Love Ska.
Me: Haha, yeah I'm a bit out of my element.

Later on in the party, they had a hardcore dance-off... fuck was that gay, seriously... Is there anything gayer than hardcore dancing... it's just... fuck that's a story for another time.

Seriously... I was just surrounded by a bunch of people I constantly make fun of, are you aware of how uncomfortable that was for me?

So, that ends and eventually I loosen up (after a few other guys I know show up) so I chill until they leave and go lay in Cameron's car.

With the remaining people left we go up to Perkins, which is fine- but I don't say more than two words. I'm just sitting there quietly, surrounded by Scenesters... Fuck.

We leave, I come home and go to sleepy sleepy land.

I don't mind scenesters... but it's just not my crowd, they were all yelling, talking about tattoos, and bitching... that's not me. I enjoy mellow things. Laying around in the sun on a nice day, not talking about dumb shit like tattoos.

I just want to have fun, and mellow out.

Those are the two major things... The rest was just casual bitchery.
Now I just feel super lonely, and super depressed.

Oh well, I'll survive.

- Josh

The State Of Music.

2008-04-24T06:39:00.000-07:00

Good morning readers,

It's 9:37 AM right now, and I'm listening to "Workin'" by The Miles Davis Quintet. So far a very classically inspired Jazz album.

Whenever I tell people what I listen to, they seem astonished and mystified that I listen to it, which I don't know why- I just think it's good music.

Other (certain) people think what I listen to is "old people music", because it's not super-overdubbed, synthesized, and overly produced.

The old soul and blues like Al Green, Otis Redding, Ben E. King, Muddy Watters, Percy Sledge, Frank Sinatra, and many others were special BECAUSE it was real, those guys could actually sing like that, it wasn't dubbed nearly at all. What you heard on a record back then was what you heard live were almost the same thing, unlike many (if not most) bands or groups today.

Don't get me wrong though, I think there are TONS of kickass groups around right now; Bright Eyes, Two Gallants, Explosions In The Sky, RANCID, Black Keys, White Stripes, Reel Big Fish, Less Than Jake, Streetlight Manifesto, Raconteurs, and tons of others... but there are equally just as many bad; Velvet Revolver, Puddle Of Mud, Staind, Seether, Buck Cherry, and plenty others.

Music is a very subjective and intrusive field of conflict between people o'er who likes or dislikes a band moreso than another.

I like innovation, oddities, difference.

NOT the same drum beat, guitar riff, and rugged bass tune.
I guess that's why I never got into grunge.
Bands like Nirvana (whether you like them or not) were just so fucked. They could hardly play their instruments, and sing and they couldn't even do that well.

Grunge directly sparked from the post-punk era that was in decline after the fall of bands like Black Flag, Circle Jerks, Flipper, Meat Puppets, The Minutemen, and others- but Punk had something they didn't, but I can't quite place it at all, really.

Regardless- from Grunge, a bunch of shitty bands (that still populate MTV) were born.

Which... yeah.

I wish I could pick on grindcore even more, but come on- a fan of Grindcore can't take the stuff seriously, the music is a joke- the bands don't even take the stuff seriously, I've read interviews where they just say it's fun and easy to play because no one really cares and it's not going to last, but to just have fun with it instead.

That's pretty much proof that Grindcore is an ending generation.
It's just like any other genre.

Ska- Ska is just about having fun, but if you actually listen to the songs- all they sing about is being depressed and angry all of the time, and wanting to kill themselves. 3/4 of Ska sounds alike, I'll never defend that- but that 1/4 is to be treasured and watched over for ALL of eternity.

I've heard plenty of ska bands and just went "they sound EXACTLY like mustard plug" and turned it off, I've already listened to Mustard Plug, I don't want more.

Just like Punk.

There are very few Punk bands around right now that are actually good; Bad Religion, Rancid, NoFX, The Unseen, Dropkick Murphys, Real McKenzies, and Flogging Molly are just a few- those are just some standout bands that don't sound exactly alike the next band playing. Stuff that just screams about getting drunk for two minutes, then the next song is about anarchy, next song about mom and dad, etc.

Music is and will always be a subjective force that NO ONE can ever agree on.

Like me? I hate rockabilly, grunge, modern rock, and grindcore.
I love Ska, Old Hip-Hop, blues, Jazz, Post-Rock, some Punk, and Funk.

What do you dig?

The Marks Of A Tool

2008-04-22T08:07:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon folks, tis I! Josh Bennett.

There isn't much at all going on right now, but... I have something to talk about that happened yesterday; which sparked me to write this blog post.

Yesterday I hung out with Nick when I saw Colin and Richie (two cool cats), and didn't think much of it. After we saw Mike Layshock and Pat Nemet jamming up at a pavilion- Nick left.

I headed back down to the park and talked with Colin and Richie.

Colin told me that a guy in the park wanted to kick his ass (Colin moved from OH about a year or so ago for college and work, but has stayed in contact with most people from OH). Colin told me what happened, which I shall relay to you:

"I was just like staring at the guy for ten minutes and thinking about how fucking gay he looked, he has a grill for fucks sake"

I hear this and look over to the guy... and sure enough... it's the biggest tool I've EVER seen.

He's wearing a wife beater, a beanie that is pulled down to his eyes, 30-75 necklaces, a grill, ears, tongue, lip, and that odd space right below the lip and above the chin... ALL PIERCED. He looks like the faggotry explosion of northeastern Ohio- and he's my friend Mikes' older brother.

So, while I make fun of this guy- Colin sees Monica and we decide to walk over, and captain Toolface approaches while we're walking away. Toolface took off his metal-beaded necklace and wound it around his hand, as though he was going to strangle Colin, this is kind of went down between those two:

Toolface: You got something to say?!

Colin: Not really, you just look gay.

Toolface: DON'T YOU DISRESPECT ME IN PUBLIC!

Colin: Whatever.

Toolface: Are we gonna fight?

Colin: Really? Am I going to have to kick his ass ?

(I'm nodding and semi-agitating the fight, Richie is kind of just watching and keeping it cool, Monica and her friends look a mite freaked out)

Toolface's friends call him back over, and then they leave somewhere- to which I just keep making fun of the guy.

--------------------------------------------------

Because of Captain Toolface, I've made a table of how I see people who physically represent themselves as tools. Feel free to count yourself up and give me your scores.

ears piercing: 0.5

ears gauged: 1.5 (get's .5 larger per each 1/2 inch upgauged.)

nose piercing: 1.5

Belly Button piercing: 1.5

eyebrow piercing: 2.0

Lip Piercing: 2.5 (Snakebites get 3.0 though)

grill: 3.0

Straighten hair when it's totally unnecessary: 3.5

You often wear the pants that don't let any air travel there: 3.5

tattoo of barbwire, heart with barbwire or anything remotely connected to barbwire on your persons: 3.5

Any other facial piercing that seems unnecessary: 4.0

Dirt Stash: 4.0

Beanie that covers eyes deliberately: 4.5

Tramp stamp (tattoo on lower back, directly above butt): 5.0

Wifebeater shirt: 6.0

Tongue Piercing: 7.5

------------------------

0 - 4 = Casual, everyone has a bit of tool in them somewhere deep down, (myself included).

5 - 8 = Darling, you're trying too hard.

9 - forward = You WILL be made fun of every chance I possibly get, but you might be my best friend at the same time.

Maybe I'm a harsh critic, and I know I'm not perfect- that's why I got a 5.5, so give me your scores.

The Day After

2008-04-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon my fellow Americans,

It's 4:20 on 420 here today.
Ironic, no?

Personally- I don't celebrate such holidays, I'm not a drug user- though I don't discriminate against those who do. It comes from the earth, and it's not hurting anyone.

I was disturbingly sick yesterday, and it's pretty much all a blur.
I did listen to "Lemony Snicket's Series Of Unfortunate Events" on Audiobook though, haha.
It's read by Tim Curry, good shit.

Best thing about flu-induced hallucinations is the stories you can think of.
I got a few from the constant vomiting I did yesterday.

Speaking of vomiting, I'd like to relay some of the things I saw in my vomit yesterday.

I threw up a few different times, but these are the best ones.

1. a mixture of a piece of cracker, red slushie and chicken.

2. Mountain Dew- green and didn't taste quite as good coming up.

3. Bile, yes- stomach fluids, CASUALLY not a good thing.

One thing that didn't make me feel good about almost feeling on the verge on the death was passing out on my bed and leaving the computer on to a rather bothering article on wikipedia.

The Black Death
(bubonic plague)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Death

I didn't feel too safe, or sane to say the least.

Well, I think I'm off for the day.

Eat dinner with the family, then head out for a walk.

- Josh.

The Zoo is On Fire.

2008-04-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

Good morning friends.
It's 9:26 AM right now, and I'm sitting around not doing much, caught up on schoolwork, so I can relax for a while.
Yesterday was pretty fun.

Let's go through the day.

I left my house around 2:45 or somewhere soon after.
I went up to the park, talked to Nick and Frankie for a few- before they bailed to go do something (touch each other, I'm guessing) and so I kind of just sat around and felt the day's breeze.

Haley and a few others showed up- I talked to them for a few, until Cameron came and we walked around for a good 30 minutes just talking.

I go home and eat dinner to find my grandmother is severely sick (which she still is, but it's just the 24 hour flu- so nothing I can REALLY do to help her), so I eat dinner with gramps and then head back out.

I come up to the park, and I'm greeted by Charlie and James- to which I pull my penis out and chase James around.
We part ways while I talk to Nick and another few cats.
Katlin shows up, I talk to her for a while (while somehow talking in another conversation behind them with other people), and then I head up to the skatepark.

While I'm talking to them; Charlie, Dave, Matt and this girl were headed in my direction. Charlie asked if I wanted to go to Circle K- and I was bored, so I did.

Along the way- I spend it trying to make them laugh (while hardly succeeding). When we get to Circle K; James, Thad and their friend Nolan show up.

They come out of Circle K and this is the conversation that went down:

James: That guy's name was rory?
Me: Rory?
James: Yeah, like the daughter on the Gilmore Girls.
Me: Wait... you watch the Gilmore Girls?
(Silence)
Then I rip into James for a good ten minutes when Thad and Nolan come out.

James: Nolan watches the Gilmore Girls too!
Josh: That's because Nolan is actually gay! You have no excuse!

I rip into him so more, and keep making myself, Charlie, and Matt laugh.

I spend my time after trying to pants James- which never really worked too well for me.

I pants Charlie... and his underwear comes down too. So Charlie is standing there in the middle of the skatepark, ass naked, covering his balls- with two or three mothers around (the one mother is actually a journalist who was reporting on skateparks) and she said "so this is the Newton Falls crowd?".

Eventually- they leave around 7:30 or so.
Before they do Matt, Charlie, and I just start saying

"Chris Wallum"

(he's a friend of Charlie's who lives in Deerfield, I think)

and we just say "Chris Wallum" endlessly.

They leave; Matt, Cameron and I walk to Circle K while still saying "Chris Wallum", Justin shows up and joins us.

We then start thinking of movie titles and inserting "Chris Wallum" into it:

Little Miss Chris Wallum
The Lion, The Witch and the Chris Wallum
The Day after Chris Wallum
Passion of the Chris Wallum
and tons of others.

On our walk, we meet up with Frankie, Jesse, Chiara, and Amber and our group of about 10 people decide to go to McDonalds. Along the way we keep saying Chris Wallum and confusing and pissing off people by just looking at strangers and saying "Chris Wallum" and keep walking.

We get to McDonalds and hang out with Kelsey while still saying "Chris Wallum", we then discover Frankie's cousin from New York (Amber) has an outrageous accent.

We start making her say things that would sound awesome with an New Yorker accent, we had fun- but then decided to head out.

We eventually make it back to the park and I try climbing a slide and smack my chin off of a slide, and then off of a golf club we found.

Amber, Frankie, and Chiara leave- so everyone else kind of disperses afterwards.

I come home, sit around on the computer- watch Eli Stone, and head to bed.

All in all- a pretty fun day.

- Josh

How was your day?

Times go.

2008-04-17T07:57:00.000-07:00

Good morning my few dear readers.
Ah, it's beautiful and it's 10:56 AM.

Windows are open, blinds are a giving a little light in, I dig it.

So... I probably won't be posting as much as I used to as it's nice outside- though I'll try my damnedest to keep you guys updated.

Yesterday was a bit out there.
It was kind of every emotion you can think of.

It was alright, till I realized that one of my best friends never even talks to me anymore- instead he hangs out with 8th and 9th graders all the time... but that's not what really bothered.

I don't really want to talk about what bothered me (though I have told 2 or 3 people), but... it was one of the few times I literally just walked away and disappeared from the park without a word.

I had went back to the skatepark (to escape what eventually made me leave the park) when they came up, and after a minute or two- I said bye to Charlie and left.

I saw George and Lauren and I told them "Yeah, I don't want to talk about it", and then I sat at the pond for a good 15 to 20 minutes. I got up as George and Lauren were getting ready to leave- I hung with them a bit, then walked Haley home.

I'm better today, it was just a multitude of things- but Haley did make me feel a little better.

Now I'm not too worried about it.
I overreact often, and yesterday was a prime example.

Here's a video to go out on:

- Josh

Stuck in prison

2008-04-14T07:38:00.000-07:00

What the hell is with this Ohio weather?
Seriously- last week it was 60, now it's 35... Jesus Christ.

Okay- well, there are two specific things on my mind right now.

As usual- in order of importance.

1. Grammar.

Now, I make my fair share of grammatical errors (if you ever look at the archive, you'll see them) but I think that you can still actually attempt to spell or use a comma correctly.

I've mentioned my friend Cameron quite a bit on here (the one-legged one), and Cameron- well... he can't spell for shit. This is pulled from an AIM conversation last night:

[16:50] J-Bizzle: Ah I dig.
[16:51] Cameron: yeah last night i chrashed in my car with kyle
[16:51] J-Bizzle: You my friend, are fucking retarded.
[16:52] Cameron: not a car chrash we slept in it
[16:52] J-Bizzle: Are you aware Crash isn't spelled chrash?

How can you misspell CRASH?! It's a five letter word!

I wish people would just pay attention in school, just a little bit.
Though- to be fair, I suppose it does come easier to some than to others... But the word CRASH?!

I can't stand it when people misspell such easy words, now if you misspell Staphylococcus, I'd completely understand... but the word crash?!

Come the fuck on, just pay attention in class for five minutes. Learn to fucking spell, honestly.

Anyways, now to my second piece (which will make the first seem rather redundant)

I never knew I was really "heartless" and "mean" until yesterday.
I was talking to someone via myspace comment, and I forget how it was mentioned but this is what she said:

okay?
i hear alotof people talk about how "mean" or "heartless" u r and i just dont see that.
im not trying to be nice either.
i just dont get how people think ur such a big ass hole.

(I removed a small part of it though, no editing otherwise- just the expletive of a sentence that doesn't really matter)

Now, I could see myself being considered mean- but honestly, if someone actually takes me seriously, then they need to reevaluate themselves. Anytime I'm ever rude to a person (other than Cameron) I'm simply kidding around. I've never honestly wished harm on another person in hopes that it would happen.

Most of the time I feel bad about making fun of a person, and especially if they think I'm serious.
I can be incredibly sweet or incredibly rude- but I'm never serious when I'm rude.

I'm a pacifist- but I'm a severely discombobulated one.

I don't know, after reading that- It was sweet of her to say, but I felt bad for the people that I've been "heartless" to, but if people actually consider me to be serious about ANY of that- then there is something up with them. I like people, I just know that people are dumb and severely fucked in the head.

I don't "want" people to hate me, but I know that it's probably inevitable.

BUT- in the case that I've EVER made YOU (the reader) angry, sad, or depressed with something you've read or something I've said- then I SINCERELY apologize... but come on... Do I even look serious?

- Josh.

There was once a girl.

2008-04-12T14:09:00.000-07:00

Good evening folks, it's 5:07 PM right now.
I'm feel pretty alright- not too much going on.
Quiet day, rainy and gloomy outside anyways.

I've been in a pretty gloomy mood the past day or two- and... well this is one factor that added into it.

There was once this girl whom I'd dated once before. anyways there was once a girl I dug, and she dug me (or so I thought) and she was talking to a good friend of mine (all names are being removed). Well, he ACTUALLY had zero interest in this girl- but couldn't think of a good way to tell her. So, one fateful day I ended up kissing this girl and telling her that I still cared about her (catching up?) and when my friend came back from vacation- he asked me fore help. So, one fateful night- I essentially wrote the letter that was breaking them up. It was in increments, and it was some of my best work to date. In each of her replies to him- she said she only wanted to be with him, that she loved him, etc- eventually the night ended with them hardly being friends.

Since her and I had already dated, I decided it was an empty cause and told her to move on- and that I'm a useless asshole, jerk, etc... to which she would say that she only wanted to date me (sounding familiar?). This went on for a while- until she went off one day to smoke a nice bit of pot. I thought very little at it at the time, and talked to another friend of mine (for the sake of argument let's call my second friend ... John), and he said that this female said the SAME thing to him.

"I love you, I want to be with you, you're the only one", during this process when she was telling me the exactly same thing.

When I heard this... I recalled seeing this SAME girl all around a few different guys at a concert a week or so prior.

So... on this day when she went to smoke pot, I lost all respect for a person to which I once admired, the fact that she went off and smoked pot didn't help. I'm disgusted by drug usage... I've been there.

I hold no resentment towards her, just made me feel like shit.
I'm cool now, but I don't know- still makes me feel like shit, and how no one likes me- blah blah blah, mindless drab.

Anyways.
Hopefully everyone is having a good weekend- maybe I'll come back with more stories.

- Josh.

Coaches

2008-04-08T18:33:00.000-07:00

Good evening dear readers (yes you),

I hope everything is swell over on your end.
Today was alright, hung with my good friend Nick Frendak for a bit- lent him a few CD's to listen to.
After that- I ran into Cameron.

We were walking along this white sidewalk in our town (it kind of stretches from one end of town to the other) and we were walking along the park and there are these baseball fields in the park. We were walking by the smallest field (where the little kids practice), and we heard this asshole coach (vandyke beard, wrap around sunglasses, and backwards flex fit hat, THE ENTIRE MACHO FUCK OUTFIT) yelling at these kids to keep running laps, Cameron and I stood and watched for a good ten minutes while the kids ran at least 20 laps, while Coach Dumbfuck yelled at him. Cameron said something and we got a dirty look.

I yelled out "You're kids COULD become well rounded individuals, but screw that- let's play baseball!", and we kept walking. We met up with Justin and walked around the park again, to where the little kids practice was, just to see the coaches yell at the kids again.

I eventually came home- and there is something on my mind.

Those coaches who coach little kids only coach because they are the true failures. They yell and make these little kids play their dumb little game because they were failures and they never made it- so fuck it, I'll take it out on little kids.

I feel that same way for ANY coach who verbally abuses a child into running laps, or works them too hard.

FUCK YOU- those kids aren't your failure sticks.
You can't force a little kid to be a winner, because you're a failure.

They work those poor kids hard because that's what their dad did- well... APPARENTLY IT DIDN'T WORK- OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN'T BE SCREAMING AT YOUR FUCKING KID TO DO ANOTHER GODDAMN LAP.

Learn to raise your fucking kids.

- Josh

Pretty solid.

2008-04-08T11:07:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon readers/friends,

I hope you're doing swell.
I'm feeling rather content myself, listening to Minor Threat's Complete Discography.
Seminal punk rock album, up there as one of the best.

There was SOMETHING on my mind, but it's a hard point for me to argue/bitch about, but... I think I'll find a way.

People who HAVE to be in a relationship.

Of course all love feeling wanted and cared about, and loved- but all the time?

I got out of a seven month relationship to Christina (to which her and I are friends now, I'd say) and I dig being single again. I don't really want a relationship, I'm having fun just chilling out. It's not like I'm going out and having sex with random girls either- I just dig not having any bearings to the world.

In my mind (that confusing fucked up thing) I think you should be able to be your own best friend, I mean- when you're lonely and depressed and no one is around... who's there? yourself. If you can make yourself your own best friend then you'll never be alone. You can do whatever you want, you'll never need anyone to make you happy. Maybe it's just me, but it's how I see it.

If you feel otherwise- I completely understand, but I think if you can be happy with yourself, then you'll never NEED anyone else to be with you, you can walk completely alone and know that it doesn't matter what other people think, because you have something they don't- the solidarity to walk alone.

NERD

2008-04-06T19:53:00.000-07:00

Good evening my good companions o'er this abominable chud baby named Stupppa.

Yeah that made no sense, but I'm content with it.

I'm listening to The Aquabats, I love those guys.
Geekcore new wave.

Anyways.
My weekend was alright.
Hung out with Cameron pretty much.

I kept running into George almost every place I went.
Sidewalk, Bench, etc.

He and I were talking and I realized the past week or so that I've seen him have been more than I've seen one of my best friends in more than a year.

Not much else to report.
Weird pain in right arm.
Sun burnt.

A new day.

2008-04-04T22:04:00.000-07:00

Good morning.
It's 1:04 AM right now, and I'm listening to one of my FAVORITE albums- Sea Change by Beck. Depressing as all hell. But it REALLY shows Beck making some soulful, real tunes.

I'm getting tired.
Really tired, but I'm not really feeling like sleeping yet.

Over the weekend I'm hoping to give the blog a nice upgrade visually, who knows- I might procrastinate myself from that.

Eh.

Too much going on in that thing I call a brain.
If you read my previous blog, it was a mite angry and depressed and blah blah blah.

Can anyone guess the primary reason for my absurd anger/depression (angerpression?)?

DING-DING-DING

If you said a girl, well come on down, you're fucking right!!!

It's my fault though, I always seem to sabotage my own relationships from the start.
I'm not dating her- I told her I couldn't (another story altogether), but... then she starts talking to another guy- something which I told her to do, I told her to find someone else- but then when she does... I can't deal with it.
Luckily there's been a few cool people around me to knock me out of that funk (Sam, Fred, Cammy) but they don't really know.

I don't know.
I guess subconsciously I DID want to be with her.
Eh, fuck it now.

Let's drink to better days.

- Josh

Bedtime

2008-04-03T20:05:00.000-07:00

It's 11:06 PM right now friends.
It's... been a... day.

It's been boring, and it's been... tough (in the past 20 minutes or so at least), and it's probably just my current state of mind talking.

It's my own fault though.
Eh, I don't know.
I'm tired of this bullshit.

All this fucking lifestyle bullshit.
I'm trying to be someone who I know I'm not, and I can't think of one solid fucking reason why.
It's all bullshit man.

I can't believe on what I live my life by.
These bullshit ass ideals and these bullshit ass beliefs.

These mortally retarded quotes that I find interesting could mean nothing to someone else.
As fuck up as it is- I hate who I am.

There, I fucking said it.
I'm tired of this bullshit that I put myself through, and it's no one else's fault, I blame no one- I'm the retard who does it.

I wish I could be like them.
But I can't.
Why?
Because I can't pretend to be stupid.
I don't know.

I'm just tired of fucking talking/writing.

Dirty Blues.

2008-04-03T09:44:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon Silencenauts (that term, AGAIN!),

Hope everyone has been doing swell.
Summer steadily approaches and it's nice to open my window (even though it's only 45 or so).

I finally finished "The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy" earlier today, I still have the five other novels in the series to read though.

You have to love classic British wit, it's unrivaled, even the greatest American comedic writers will NEVER write as well as the Python troupe.

In fact, here is the British comedian Eddie Izzard doing his take on American movies vs. British (Euro) movies.

I think 2008 and 2009 are potentially good years for movies.

Let's hope to live that long for it, cheers!

- Josh.

Orbits

2008-04-01T07:31:00.000-07:00

Good mid-morning readers (yes all three of you).

It's 10:30 AM right now, and I don't have much motivation to do my schoolwork so I figured I'd make a nice post.

I'm listening to "Miles Smiles" by Miles Davis, so far it's pretty awesome, short though (like my penis).

I think my procrastination has to do with the weather as well.
It feels wonderful.
The weather said it's supposed to Thunderstorm today, but I don't give a damn, I have my window open and it feels awesome.

I was hanging out with the great George P. yesterday. He talked about moving from Akron back to Newton Falls. We hung for a bit before he headed off to do whatever he does.

My blog is a tad random today, I'm just pulling ideas from my head.

I can't wait to get that haircut, I'm serious. I'm selling out, getting short hair and being happy with it. Long hair is awesome for some people (myself) until you realize you have long hair, then it just gets in the way.

I've actually got it down to two choices.

1.

2.

I asked what people thought via myspace and the results are:

Number of votes for Hairstyle 1: 7
Number of votes for Hairstyle 2: 7

(Plus about twenty people who told me to not get a haircut, OR that both were gay)

Even.

You guys on the space REALLY don't help my OCD, you know.

So it kind of somes down to you guys.
Which one should I go with?
I'm going this Friday or sometime NEXT week.

So help a brother out.

Let Those Stupid Birds Fly

2008-03-31T06:31:00.000-07:00

Right now it's 9:52 AM, and I haven't written since Thursday.

I haven't been "busy", but there's just been too much to write about so I kind of procrastinated it for a while, there's also a lot going on with me lately too. Stuff I'm not comfortable to talk about, but anyways.

Highlights from the weekend:

1. Going to Taco Bell at 10:30 at night with Derrick and Cameron.

2. Sitting in McDonalds for too long.

3. Driving home from Taco Bell with the convertible roof down in 30 degree weather.

Okay, well maybe nothing TOO interesting happened, but I still had fun.

One thing that did happen (again), I got into another retarded music argument with Matt.
I posted a bulletin and it was the Otis Redding song "Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay" on a video, an absolutely awesome song in my opinion.

He replied to the bulletin saying this:

I prefer anything over Otis Redding.

OLD PEOPLE MUSIC.

Who gives a shit if it's "old people music", it's still an awesome tune. That type of music doesn't even exist anymore. 3/4 of the music is so over-dubbed and over-produced that it sounds like Stephen Hawking was singing it!

It doesn't matter what generation you come from, or what year- good music is still good fucking music.

There are no more Miles Davis', Otis Redding, John Coltrane, Marvin Gaye, The Temptations, Sam & Dave, and so many others.

Jazz and Soul are pretty much dead as far as I'm concerned. There are still SOME good musicians for both association, but the rough, real sounds of just a simple mastering are far past dead.

Well, I saw him yesterday and he started making fun of Otis Redding and my tastes in music again... so, I started making fun of his, but he couldn't defend himself:

Matt: Go listen to your old people music, your Otis Redding.
Me: I will, at least that music is understandable not "BLEH BLAH BREEEEE BRUHHHH LAH LUH LEHAHHA BREE".

Because mind you- he's pretty much an "awesome" scene kid, straightens his hair daily, listens to all of that uber cute grindcore, but he's a good kid. He's just dumb.

He reads this blog too.
He never said for me to stop, so I won't.

Unlike one of my previous posts, I'm not gonna go out of my way to write about how much I hate that music, but for some reason it keeps getting brought up and I keep writing about it.

Shitty music will always be shitty music.

Now let's go listen to Panic At The Disco.

- Josh.

Black Caddy.

2008-03-27T09:00:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon everyone.

Right now it's 3:15 PM.

I had an odd dream last night- not bad, just... different.

I don't especially want to go into it, but- it kind of made me think a lot, about stuff in my life.
As far as what happened with Christina yesterday- I'm over it.

I'm ugly, now we can all move on with out lives.
There isn't too much on my agenda today, big surprise there.

So- I got into a semi-argument yesterday with a friend of mine named Matt. I was talking to him and Cameron and I just said that "Salt The Wound" sucked ass. To which Matt sauntered over and said "Did I just hear Salt The Wound?!" like a trekkie who just met William Shatner and was told that he'd be making a cameo in the remake. So I once again said that they suck and well fuck this is the conversation:

Matt: Did I just hear Salt The Wound?!
Me: Yeah, I said they suck.
Cameron: They're awesome!
Matt: Yeah, they're good!
Me: Only if you like to hear "BLEH LAH LUH BLAH THUH BLAH BLAH BLEEEEEEEEH BREEEEEEEEEEE!"
Matt: Sorry it's not awesome as your Beck.
Me: At least Beck can make more than one song without sounding the same.
Matt: But that's cool!
Me: If you have a mental disorder maybe.
Cameron: What about Cholera?!
Me: They suck too.

Jesus Christ, I mean- fuck, how can people listen to that brain-deaf retard habit shit?

I know I've talked about it before, but it's music without meaning. Music without purpose.
The way I see it is that these "grinds" if you will, took everything shitty about every genre and decided it would be fun to put them together.

They decided to use shitty vocals and asshole drunk singers from Punk Rock.
They use shitty synth players from 80's glam rock (which glam is terrible as well).
They took the girl pants from emo.
They took the bad breakdowns from REAL metal.

It's essentially like everything shitty from every genre just cluster fucked into one group.

In this wake; I will be conducting an experiment.

There are two grindcore vids below. Two different bands, BUT THEY SOUND THE FUCKING SAME.

1. Furtive Monologue by Despised Icon

2. Traitors Never Play Hangman by Bring Me The Horizon

Maybe it's just me- but that shit sounds the fucking same.
I like innovation, and improvisation.

Now, it's time for the second part of the experiment.
For this- I'm going to use one band and show how different two songs can really be.
If two different bands sound the same, then shouldn't one band always sound the same?

1. Nihilism by Rancid.

2. Time Bomb by Rancid.

One could note the voice and some repetitive chords- but it's going from a very punk driven song to a very ska and reggae oriented song.

Why can't people who dig their "Salt The Wound" realize that it's just repetitive music, and that there is enough of the bullshit out there without their help.

Even dicks have feelings.

2008-03-26T18:12:00.000-07:00

Five minutes ago, I was feeling pretty good.

Now, I feel like shit.

Inadequate
Ugly (duh)
Useless

Ever gotten that lump in your throat, and it sort of hurts to swallow? That's such an odd feeling.

I've always had this philosophy, make fun of yourself so that no one else can.

Then... occasionally you'll read things about yourself that DO hurt.
That DO make you feel like shit... like my ex (Christina, mentioned quite often on here), and her friend (Kate) and because some people never really think who the fuck is gonna read something- they post it in a bulletin... A bulletin which I read, which follows suit.

--------------------------

(noticed it on someones bulletin, randomly looking, kind of... hurtful... heh. )

christina: whats your favorite animal?
me: a three-toed sloth.

christina: thats so funny-because mines a wolf. and theyre much stonger.

me: alright?
christina: fangs. thats all I have to say.

-Kate googles picture of a three-toed sloth-
me: look at that thing! its beastly!
christina: it looks like my ex boyfriend.

me: wait..
-gets picture of douchebag and then pastes it next to the beastly animal-

WOW.

thats one striking fucking resemblance..

---------------------------------

If this was just one of my random ass friends I'd understand and I wouldn't REALLY care, but from a girl that I've always defended (even after we broke up) it... hurts.

Before I wrote this, I figured it'd be tit for tat- and fair would to call her a three toed sloth... but... I'm not going there.

I've kind of had it at this point, I fucking defend someone who goes around and apparently talks shit about me- and I fucking love shit talkers- BUT HAVE THE FUCKING DECENCY TO TELL ME.

It's bullshit.

I desperatly want to write something mean about her... but for the first time in my life I can confidently say that I'm not going down to that level.

Maybe I deserved it.

- Josh.

Change your attitude, BOY.

2008-03-26T09:29:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon. It's 1:01 PM right now, and here I sit- at the computer.

There really isn't much going on to talk about today, just chilling out right now.
Yesterday was... yeah.

Quite a bit happened.
LOTS of details, very little to really mention- but I'll try my damnedest.

After I posted on the blog yesterday, I went and grabbed some Subway- where I got awkward stares because I was some weird kid wearing shorts, a t-shirt, and adidas- which isn't really out of my nature, but still people looked at me like I was a retard.

After Subway I hung around the house before deciding to go for a walk.

If you live in NE Ohio, then you know it was fucking windy all of yesterday.
I met up with a few cats at the park, and then Nolan (I've mentioned him before) showed up with no apparent agenda.

We hung around a while and then Nolan and I headed to his car because it was fucking cold.
The other people we were with started leaving as well- but they were headed to McDonalds... so... Nolan and I E-Braked at a 180 degree angle AROUND their group of 5-10 people, and picked three of them up (Katie, Katie #2, and Katlyn) and we headed to McDonalds listening to Fatboy Slim the entire way.

We got into McDonalds and Nolan parked in two spots with his car, normal fashion.

We went in McDonalds PROBABLY around 3:30 or so.
About ten minutes into sitting in there... a police officer came in and asked who was driving the Green Oldsmobile (it was Nolan's). The cop takes Nolan outside and talks to him for about ten minutes, while fucktards (Katie, and Katie #2) think it to be wise to chill in front of the window looking out at them, taking pictures.

After a while- the cop leaves... so does Nolan. Nolan goes across the street to the police station- where we are left to ponder.

45 minutes or an hour later- he calls Katlyn's cell and says that they told him to leave town.

We didn't hear much after that.

Katie and Katie #2 bail on Katlyn and I- but we still just hang in McDonalds. Anthony shows up, and we all hang out for another hour or so. By the time we leave it's 7:00 PM, Eventually I wander on home- after I tried calling and it says the number is disconnected (but you can still call out, but it won't receive calls, fucked up).

I get online- get into an argument or two- and decide to call it a night.

This morning I wake up to Spring Cleaning, and help out a bit- before my grandmother mentions my grandfather is pissed at me for whatever reason, and that if "I don't change my attitude, I'll be going back to Arizona", so- fuck.

- Josh.

Usual Suspects, Racism, and Vulgar words.

2008-03-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon everyone.
It's 1:23 PM, here on a dreadful Tuesday afternoon.
Right now I'm taking a break from watching "The Usual Suspects", one of my favorite movies.
If you've never seen it- then it's impossible to explain. It's neo-noir, with unreliable narration.
It has one of my favorite movie scenes in a movie- ever.

Take a look for yourself.

AWESOME fucking scene.

Besides watching The Usual Suspects, there isn't much going on. This Spring Break is uneventful so far, and it apparently won't be getting much better.

Not much to talk about... but there are TWO things on my mind right now, so... read it, bitch. :)

1. Racism in America.

I'm not gonna go on a tirade about my thoughts on Racism, but- I find one thing fucking hilarious about Racism; the intelluctial retards who say we should "Ship all them niggers back to Africa".

Okay- fucktards, I'll speak very slowly- so your useless chromosome brain can follow along...

WE (us, you) Brought (took, like you did your daughters virginity) Them (those, they, other people) HERE (your trailer).

So anyone who wants to bitch that we should send people back to their countries- be well aware, more often than not- they're here BECAUSE of us. The whitey brought the black man here to America, so we could lay around and be lazy- and look at that whitey, the black man doesn't like being treated like shit!

ON TO NUMBER 2, BITCH!

2. Vulgarities.

We all curse, at some time or another... some more than others, but there are a few words that I can't think of proper curse equivalents for:

(1) Breasts

Women have them.
I can't think of a curse word that I actually like for the word breasts.

I hate the word tits, it's just childish and silly.
Boobs makes me feel like I'm 8.

Is there no good word for breasts that can be used negatively?!

(2) Vagina

Once again, women have them.
Once again, I can think of no word for it.

Cunt is rude, but I fucking love that word- though I don't like the idea of referencing a girls vagina on the word Cunt.
Pussy is archaic and kind of creepy sounding.

The only one that I can think of that makes a little headway is Vag (Vah-Juh).

I don't know. Someone help me think of curse words?!!?!?!?!

Yes!

2008-03-24T10:24:00.000-07:00

So, good afternoon.
It's my Monday of my Spring Break- and it's really uneventful.

Yesterday was Zombie Jesus day, and I ate a bunch of Ham.

Today- I'm lazy and sleepy.

Lately I've been listening to A LOT of ska, I don't mind it- I've always loved ska, but it's weird going back to listening to music you've all but forgotten.

Ska is definitely an underrated genre, so much good music- not enough good listeners.
Music is one of the few things I'm confrontational about.

My tastes are rather broad- and I'll listen to just about everything, though I do have a few exceptions:

1. shitty indie pop like "Neon Neon", "The Hush Sound", and some others.

2. Grindcore, Metalcore, Cybergrind, Deathgrind, Goregrind, anything where the music results in pulsating bass beats and "BREE", "DIE", "ROAR", "WHEAT", and etcetera.

3. 80's glam metal, for obvious fucking reasons.

4. Anything generic, overplayed and idolized: "Say anything", "Red Jumpsuit Apparatus", "All Time Low", "Fall Out Boy (okay, I have to admit- I like Infinity On High), and anything played on MTV, VH1, Fuse, or other stations at a constant.

5. Shit metal like Otep, Slipknot, Korn, and others.

6. Shitty new rap like "Soulja Boy", "Dem Franchise Boyz", pretty much anything that someone with down syndrome and access to Garage Band on mac can do.

Maybe I'm just picky and idiotic, but I like music that has something worth saying. Not bullshit. I like stuff that you can dance (not HxC dance, faggot) and have a groovy time to.

It may seem as though I was picking on some people's taste, but fuck that.
You want to listen to generic, then be my guest.

If I had to go on record and say my top ten bands, it would go something like this:

(No order)

1. Beck
2. Black Flag
3. RANCID
4. Mighty Mighty Bosstones
5. Miles Davis
6. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
7. Wu-Tang Clan
8. Less Than Jake
9. Common Rider
10. Godspeed You, Black Emperor!

I'd say that's a rather ranging list.

You've got some Jazz, Punk Rock, Ska, Rap, Post-Rock, and some unclassifiable music.

I'd just like people to open their minds, stop thinking "Well, I'm wearing the t-shirt, I straighten my hair, and I'm wearing Nikes- fuck I should only listen to Spice Girls and Grindcore", and start thinking about opening your mind.

I'm not REPULSED by that music, that I made fun of, but I'd much rather listen to Wu-Tang Clan over Soulja Boy any day of the week.

What are your top 10 favorite bands?

- Josh.